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[♪ classical music playing]

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Downloaded from
YTS.BZ

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The drummer is, in my opinion,
the center of the universe.

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ

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[♪ chorus vocalizing]

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Nobody's really boppin'
to the vocals or the guitar.

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As a drummer, you are moving people.

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[Lil Wayne] Drums are not
too complicated to feel,

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and when you feel music,
that's unforgettable.

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[Stewart Copeland]
All of the other extrapolations, melody

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are just decoration
for the fundamental business of music,

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which is to motivate the pelvic region

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and induce humans involuntarily
to perform a mating dance,

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in public, driven by the drums.

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[Stewart laughs]

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Those fucking guitarists!

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Wha-- Who needs those guys?

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It's the beat they're dancing to.

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[♪ dramatic music playing]

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Travis has a very unique style,
instantly identifiable.

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You know, the physicality
is just mind-boggling.

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[Taylor Hawkins]
Everyone's got their own feel, you know?

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I mean, some bands have drummers
that make them cook

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and put 'em on the edge all the time.

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When I see Travis playing the drums,
it really looks like

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he's beating the shit out of somebody.

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♪♪

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Aggression, pain, anger,
he's been through all that.

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[Matt Skiba] You know, the things that
he's lived through and survived,

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I think that most people
would just curl up into a ball.

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But I think that there is
a higher force at play.

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♪♪

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[MGK] Falling from the sky like Icarus...

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probably does some crazy shit
to your head.

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[YUNGBLUD] Every single hit
is him communicating

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his story to the world.

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And, dude, he has got a crazy story.

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Fuck me, he's got a crazy story.

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♪♪

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[faint siren wailing]

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[airplane whooshing]

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[explosion booms]

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[sirens wailing]

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[reporter] The witness told us he was
a few hundred yards away last night

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and saw what he called
"a fireball rolling across the highway."

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Then he said he saw two men
who were standing in the road on fire

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on fire hitting each other
trying to put the fire out.

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[groans, yells]

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[fire roaring]

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[waves crashing]

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[drums thudding]

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[cymbals crashing]

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[Travis Barker] Since the crash,
I've never stepped foot on a plane.

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I can't even fathom the thought.

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And-And when I do even put it
in my head and I let it--

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I let my mind even think about it...

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I have the worst flashbacks
of the accident,

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and I just, I can't do it.

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I want to stay as far away
from death or anything

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that could bring death my way...

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in any way possible.

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[♪ gentle music playing]

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I take the Queen Mary to Europe.

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It's a nine-day cruise
straight through the Atlantic.

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It's really the only way I can tour.

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[Lawrence Vavra] We don't wanna have
Travis doing anything unsafe.

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But it's not the ideal touring scenario.

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His band mates, they all understand.

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Everyone gets it, you know?

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♪♪

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He knows the route so well now,

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that he knows exactly
when they're around the Titanic.

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You know, when those waters get high...

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[waves crashing]

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you know, he stays
with his life jacket sometimes.

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He's got this fear, you know,

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that, at any time,
he's not gonna be on this earth.

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[Dr. John Briere]
When you've been traumatized,

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your physiology shifts in some ways,

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probably from an evolutionary perspective.

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Your memories tend to become
what we call hyper-consolidated,

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which means that they get
very strongly ingrained in the mind

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in a very vivid sort of way.

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But for some of us,
if the trauma is severe enough,

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we may think that we're back in the event

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or that the event's happening
all over again.

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[indistinct radio chatter]

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[Travis]
Get us an ambulance, man.

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[Travis groans, yells]

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[Travis] I've taken the Queen Mary,
I think, six times now.

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I've gotten used to it,

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and I've really figured out
my rhythm on there.

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I just focus on training
and playing drums for hours a day.

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The first time I came on the boat,
I brought a drum kit,

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and I would set up in a room
they provided for me.

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Sometimes I'll go in there,
and I'd be playing

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and I'd be closing my eyes, whatever,

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just practicing the same thing,
you know, and then I'd open,

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and there'd be, like, five elderly people

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just standing this close to me
just watching, sipping coffee,

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thinking I was, like,
an attraction on the boat.

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[chuckles]

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I felt like this was the best way
to keep it private

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and not bug my neighbors.

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[tapping]

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I'd like to challenge myself to sound like

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I'm on a bigger drum kit
with two bass drums

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and a million cymbals.

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I always loved seeing drummers

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play really small kits
and just destroy them.

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My favorite jazz drummer
has and always will be Buddy Rich.

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He had crazy chops, and he was a showman.

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-[audience cheering, applauding]
-He made the upside-down drum solo famous.

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Most people think of his speed,
and how fun he was to watch.

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And ultimately, that's my two
favorite things about drummers.

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I would describe Travis's kit
as the Buddy Rich setup.

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One tom-tom in the front, two on the side,

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horizontal cymbals
that are flat, not tilted.

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The smallest drum set, the most power.

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-[♪ upbeat electronic music playing]
-♪ One, two, three ♪

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[Stewart] There's the monster kit guys,

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and there's the guys
who can do it with less.

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♪♪

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[Questlove] The one and last time
I did a drum battle with Trav,

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he didn't let up for a moment.

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And I was like,
"Don't let them see you give up.

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You better do all these triple rolls."
[vocalizes triple rolls]

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[panting] And I'm like,
"You ready to stop yet? Fuck."

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[audience cheering]

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[Matt] I mean, the guy's an artist
and he's a musician,

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but what he does is so athletic.

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The only thing akin to the way
that he plays drums I've seen

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is like a boxer, or a UFC fighter.

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You know, he goes into every show
like he's going into a ring.

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[inaudible dialogue]

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[♪ dramatic classical music playing]

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[Lawrence] Every time he hits a drum,

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there's a part of his anger
that comes out.

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There's a lot of pain in Travis.

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[♪ dramatic classical music continues]

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[Mark Hoppus] He is hitting
as hard as he possibly can,

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but it's never off time in any way.

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♪♪

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Savage accuracy is the only way
I can describe it, I guess.

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♪♪

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[Sheila E.] When I first saw him play,
like, his high hat, it's so high.

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You want to reach
the people way out there,

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so y-you feel like you have to be big.

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Bigger than life.

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♪♪

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His elbow's gonna go out, his rotator.

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I'm thinking of all of the things
that are gonna hurt him later.

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-My wrists, like, make lots of noises...
-[wrist clicking]

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...and they crack, and they pop.

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There's a lot of blisters, a lot of cuts.

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[Tim Armstrong] One day, we're about
halfway through our set, Travis stops.

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I look closer, and his hand is opened up.

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It was his bone.

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[Daniel Jensen]
He has this stuff called Dermabond,

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which is used for women
who have cesarean section births.

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[Tim]
And he just puts the Dermabond on.

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He sits up...

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"I'm good."

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Finished the set, man,
like nothing ever happened,

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but that's him.

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[♪ dramatic classical music continues]

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Usually, you just watch the whole band,

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but I was directly zoomed in on him.

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This guy's an animal.

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[Dr. Teeth] ♪ Be a better drummer,
be an up-and-comer ♪

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♪ Can you picture that? ♪

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♪ Can you picture that? ♪

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Drum war!

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♪♪

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-Animal!
-[audience cheering]

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[Travis] As a kid, the first thing
that got me interested in drums

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was Animal from The Muppets.

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He was wild and always looked like

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he was having such a good time
behind the kit.

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[bellows, grunts]

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Everyone else was just whatever.

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Animal was what I was drawn to.

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♪♪

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Who's the Animal now?

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-Oh, yeah?
-[audience laughs]

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[grunts]

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[laughs]

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He would go out in the kitchen,
pull pots and pans

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out of the cupboard...

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and he was banging on 'em,
and my wife, she said,

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"I think I'm gonna try
and make him a drummer."

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At four, I-I got my first drum kit,

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and it was a Muppets drum kit.

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And he just beat the daylights out of it.

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-[♪ "death bed" by Powfu playing]
-♪ Don't stay awake for too long... ♪

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[Travis] Well, as a kid,
I really didn't enjoy practicing.

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At that age, you don't really want
to do anything.

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You just want to go play
with your friends.

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So, I'm really fortunate

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I had a really disciplined schedule
with practice.

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♪ Don't stay awake for too long... ♪

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[Tamara Barker] My mom, she sat
in the room with him while he practiced.

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She would tape his drum lesson,

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so she knew exactly what it
was supposed to sound like

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and what he was supposed to be doing.

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[Travis] My mom learned
how to read music with me.

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She could pretty much play
what I could play,

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and she knew whether
I was practicing or not.

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And she'd be like, "No, that's not right.
You're not doing that right."

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♪ Don't stay awake for too long... ♪

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She was adamant about me
just growing up to be something.

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Like I was her little creation
that she was molding.

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♪ I'm happy that you're here with me,
I'm sorry if I tear up... ♪

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[Randalai Barker]
He was really close with my mom.

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Without my mom,
I don't think he would've practiced

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00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,899
and did all those things
to get where he is today.

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♪ ...every time you heard a bark
Cuddle... ♪

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[Travis] Growing up, you know,
I was, I was a mama's boy

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and Pops was there
to reinforce anything she said.

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I was the enforcer.
She was the home teacher.

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[Travis]
It was a very humble living.

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Pops built our house
with his own two hands.

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He was a Vietnam vet
and a steel mill worker

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that rode a Harley-Davidson every day.

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He was working 60 hours a week
to provide for us.

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So, I didn't get to spend
a whole lot of time with him.

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[Randalai] My dad never smiled.
He was very serious.

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Most of our friends were afraid of him
when they came to the house,

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but I don't know anybody who didn't,
who didn't love our mom.

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[Randy Barker] She was one fine lady.

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Very dedicated to her kids.

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And then all of a sudden, the sides
of her face would swell up in here.

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For four months,
they treated her as having mumps.

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00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,968
In the beginning,
they just didn't know what it was.

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00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:09,557
My mom was diagnosed
with Sjögren's syndrome,

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which attacks the lymph nodes.

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[Randy] They told us
that she needed to have, uh,

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chemotherapy done right away.

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The next day, I went to work

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and when I came home that night,
my daughter said, you know,

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"Something's the matter with Mom."

242
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:26,407
Um...

243
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:30,119
[clears throat]

244
00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:33,706
[♪ somber music playing]

245
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,962
Thirty days later, she was gone.

246
00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,931
[Travis] I was confused, angry...

247
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,101
kind of made me question God

248
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:56,479
and just religion and everything
I'd been brought up on.

249
00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:01,818
I was just like, "Wow, why would God
do something so fucked up?"

250
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:06,155
My pops wasn't really in a place
to answer anything

251
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:08,533
because he was also grieving.

252
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:13,454
We didn't, uh, you know,
we really didn't discuss it

253
00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:16,249
that much, me and my, and my kids.

254
00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:18,209
We just kind of took it as it came.

255
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,131
♪♪

256
00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:24,590
[Travis] Before my mom passed,

257
00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:28,010
we found out my dad was in a relationship
with another woman...

258
00:15:28,803 --> 00:15:30,805
which made it even more difficult.

259
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:35,059
He was spending a lot of time with her

260
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:37,645
and then coming back
and staying with us when we needed him.

261
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:41,691
I resented him for the obvious reasons.

262
00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:46,154
There wasn't, like,
that one stable foundation to go to

263
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:49,073
and be like,
"Yo, this is difficult for me."

264
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:55,997
I just bottled up all my pain
and put it into drums.

265
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,709
I think drums was my therapy.

266
00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:04,547
The last thing my mom said to me was,

267
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:08,301
"Just focus on your music.
Become a drummer."

268
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,138
And I just came
on the first day of school,

269
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:14,223
and I said, "I want in the marching band."

270
00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:18,269
It was drumline, jazz band.

271
00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:19,812
That was just my life.

272
00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:25,109
How do I fulfill this goal
that my mom had for me?

273
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:28,112
♪♪

274
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:30,740
[tattoo machine buzzing]

275
00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:37,788
[Randalai]
Travis was, overall, a good kid.

276
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:41,792
But after she passed away, he acted out.

277
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:47,256
[Travis]
I got my first tattoo when I was 15.

278
00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:50,801
And my dad always said,
"The day you get a tattoo,

279
00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:53,262
I'm gonna kick your ass.
I'm gonna kick you out of the house."

280
00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:56,390
So, I was kinda shook,

281
00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:59,519
but at the same time,
my mom had just passed away,

282
00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:02,980
and in my head,
things couldn't get much worse.

283
00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:04,440
And I was rebellious.

284
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:08,444
It was that age
where I just didn't... really give a fuck.

285
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,905
[♪ hard rock music playing]

286
00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:13,282
[Randy] I was really irritated.

287
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,701
I told him, "One day,
you're gonna be sorry,

288
00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:17,703
you know, that-that you did this."

289
00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:20,873
[Travis] He'd be like, "You're an idiot.

290
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:23,209
You're never gonna be able to get a job."

291
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:25,378
[Randy] When he got out
of high school, I told him,

292
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:27,129
"You better get yourself a job, boy."

293
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,590
And he said, "No, Dad,
I don't have to worry about getting a job.

294
00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:31,509
I'm-I'm gonna be in the music."

295
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:36,264
I figured, if I get tattoos
all over my neck,

296
00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:38,224
and all over my body, all over my hands,

297
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:41,852
I can't get a job,
and I won't have a plan B.

298
00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:43,521
And to me, that was perfect.

299
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:47,149
My goal was to make enough money to eat,

300
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:49,443
have somewhere to sleep,
and play the drums.

301
00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:52,446
My father gave me an ultimatum:

302
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:56,826
join the military,
work 60 hours a week and pay rent,

303
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,911
or move out and do whatever you like.

304
00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:02,873
I told Pops, "I'm outta here.
I'm gonna go live with my friend

305
00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:05,209
"and play in a punk rock band,

306
00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:08,337
and be a trash man in Laguna Beach."

307
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:09,630
And that's what I did.

308
00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:13,009
♪ Follow me ♪

309
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:17,221
When you work for the city
in Laguna Beach,

310
00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:19,557
if you're a trash man
and you work in downtown,

311
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,475
they call you a "downtown rat."

312
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,728
So I was a downtown rat.

313
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:26,814
[Taylor]
Humble beginnings, I saw them.

314
00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:28,649
Trash man, literally.

315
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,861
Just trying to fucking
make something happen.

316
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:35,573
[♪ hard rock music playing]

317
00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:41,621
[Travis] At the time, I was playing
in a band called Feeble,

318
00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:44,415
and Feeble was playing around quite a bit.

319
00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:46,876
[♪ hard rock music continues]

320
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:50,880
[Taylor] I had a girlfriend at the time,
and she's like,

321
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,549
"This band, Feeble, they have this kid."

322
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,384
She goes, "You gotta see
this kid play drums."

323
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:58,095
♪♪

324
00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:01,557
[Noel Paris]
A lot of people came just to watch him.

325
00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:04,435
[singing indistinctly]

326
00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:07,563
It was a sense of power
coming from this little, skinny kid

327
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:09,315
that I'd never seen before.

328
00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:13,069
[Taylor] He was just a kid,
but he just had this, like,

329
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:16,113
"Oh, you're gonna get picked up
by a band eventually

330
00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:18,866
and you will be a star attraction
in that band."

331
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,951
♪♪

332
00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:23,746
Fuckin' Travis.

333
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:26,499
[cheering and applause]

334
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:30,711
[Christian Jacobs] Our bass player came
to practice one night, and he was like,

335
00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:33,297
"Guys, I have the perfect kid.
He'll blow you away.

336
00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:37,510
"And he's only 18 or 19,
and he can go on tour.

337
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:39,595
And he's punk, he's perfect."

338
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:42,473
[♪ ska music playing]

339
00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:45,559
[Travis] I know nothing about The Aquabats

340
00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:47,728
except that I hear their name everywhere.

341
00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:50,564
Like, everyone in our scene
was talking about them.

342
00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:54,151
I show up the day of the show,

343
00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:57,113
and I know all the songs, I do soundcheck.

344
00:19:57,613 --> 00:20:00,408
And he shows up, and he's like,
"Okay, what time we go on?"

345
00:20:00,491 --> 00:20:02,326
And I said, "Here,"
and I gave him his costume,

346
00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:05,454
and he was like, "W-Wait, what?"

347
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:11,085
[Travis]
I had all my friends come down,

348
00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:13,629
and all my friends
were from Fontana or Riverside.

349
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:15,798
They were all kinda hood.

350
00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:19,510
So they just thought it was
so funny I was up there

351
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:23,848
in, like, a rashguard and a cape
and these fucking goggles,

352
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:26,183
but there was two
to three thousand kids there.

353
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:27,643
So I didn't care.

354
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,603
-I was just excited to play.
-[crowd cheering]

355
00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:31,981
You're the best kids in the world!

356
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:35,109
[♪ "Super Rad!" by The Aquabats playing]

357
00:20:41,449 --> 00:20:45,035
[Bill Fold] He gets into the band
and he was just a monster on the drums.

358
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:48,831
I start paying attention to them,
and I end up managing them.

359
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:51,083
♪ We're on our way... ♪

360
00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:53,002
We put out The Fury of the Aquabats!

361
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,920
on Goldenvoice Recordings.

362
00:20:55,671 --> 00:21:00,259
It went phenomenally well
for a ska band from another planet.

363
00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:04,096
Travis moved into my house in Riverside.

364
00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:08,476
Travis was definitely the standout
because Travis was the punk rock kid.

365
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:11,228
So, like, it was always a problem

366
00:21:11,312 --> 00:21:13,647
with whether he'd wear the uniforms.

367
00:21:13,731 --> 00:21:15,649
♪ All systems go... ♪

368
00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:19,111
[John Feldmann]
I remember first time seeing Travis

369
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:22,782
doing this marching cadence thing,
and I was like, [laughing] "Holy shit!"

370
00:21:22,865 --> 00:21:24,992
Because in our movement,
it was like everyone just did...

371
00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:26,327
[vocalizes frantic drums]

372
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:27,703
or... [vocalizes rhythmic drums]

373
00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:29,872
Those are, like, the two
kind of beats that you had.

374
00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:34,460
Our drummer,
I could just tell immediately was like,

375
00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:35,836
"This guy is a threat."

376
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,047
♪ All systems go ♪

377
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:41,467
♪ As we step into the octagon ♪

378
00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:44,136
♪ Feel the wrath of mission codename ♪

379
00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:46,180
♪ Applesauce, Applesauce, Applesauce ♪

380
00:21:46,263 --> 00:21:47,681
♪ Super rad! ♪

381
00:21:47,765 --> 00:21:51,310
[audience cheering]

382
00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:53,020
Right on, homies!

383
00:21:53,229 --> 00:21:55,314
[waves crashing]

384
00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:58,859
[♪ serene music playing]

385
00:22:00,277 --> 00:22:03,531
[Christian] We didn't know a whole lot
about Travis's home life growing up.

386
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,659
Just little things that
he would tell us here and there.

387
00:22:08,953 --> 00:22:12,957
But the one thing that
I always noticed was he was so driven.

388
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:16,377
♪♪

389
00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:22,299
[Bill] He is a walking metronome.

390
00:22:23,634 --> 00:22:25,010
He's a perfectionist.

391
00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:29,265
[Lars Ulrich] Guys that come out
of marching bands

392
00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:31,934
and really have the rudiments down,

393
00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:34,937
I admire it, uh, and I'm awestruck by it.

394
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:36,981
♪♪

395
00:22:40,609 --> 00:22:42,444
[Questlove] That's a lot of muscle memory.

396
00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:46,448
That's a lot of discipline
and technique and commitment.

397
00:22:46,532 --> 00:22:49,076
♪♪

398
00:22:57,751 --> 00:23:00,129
[Christian]
He'd always be on his practice pad.

399
00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:02,923
We'd be in the van,
like, traveling for hours,

400
00:23:03,007 --> 00:23:06,343
and Travis would be on his headphones,
on his practice pad playing along.

401
00:23:07,887 --> 00:23:09,513
He was always playing the drums.

402
00:23:09,597 --> 00:23:12,099
[♪ drumming continues]

403
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:18,647
He was driven to get somewhere.

404
00:23:19,648 --> 00:23:21,984
He was trying to get away from something.

405
00:23:23,611 --> 00:23:26,071
I could just only piece things together.

406
00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:29,658
But I could tell he was kinda hurtin'.

407
00:23:31,076 --> 00:23:33,495
I think that his mom passing away

408
00:23:33,579 --> 00:23:37,875
was still really fresh in his heart
when he was in the band.

409
00:23:39,168 --> 00:23:42,296
♪♪

410
00:23:46,300 --> 00:23:48,928
[Mark] We were playing a show
with The Aquabats,

411
00:23:49,011 --> 00:23:51,639
and our drummer had to leave.

412
00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:55,476
[Tom DeLonge] Basically, there was
a family emergency with our old drummer.

413
00:23:55,559 --> 00:23:57,895
And actually, I believe
he was the one that says,

414
00:23:57,978 --> 00:24:02,149
"That cat from the opening band
probably can fill in. He's really good."

415
00:24:03,442 --> 00:24:06,028
[Travis] Mark and Tom
come up to me and they said,

416
00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:09,573
"Yo, our drummer just left.
Would you consider playing?

417
00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:13,744
The only-- The only catch is
the show starts in an hour."

418
00:24:15,329 --> 00:24:18,624
[Mark] We grabbed our guitars,
we went into, uh, a dressing room,

419
00:24:18,707 --> 00:24:21,043
uh, ran through everything
as best we could.

420
00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:24,380
[Travis] You know, I didn't have
a drum kit backstage,

421
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:27,007
but I just played on my knees...

422
00:24:27,091 --> 00:24:29,760
and played our first show.

423
00:24:29,843 --> 00:24:31,887
[audience cheering]

424
00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:33,931
[Mark] We're just moments away
from taking the stage

425
00:24:34,014 --> 00:24:35,641
and making total asses out of ourselves.

426
00:24:35,724 --> 00:24:37,559
They're gonna laugh at us.
They're all gonna laugh at us.

427
00:24:38,143 --> 00:24:40,354
-[emcee] Go ahead, Tom.
-[Tom] Fuck you, alright?

428
00:24:40,437 --> 00:24:43,315
[♪ playing "Aliens Exist"]

429
00:24:44,274 --> 00:24:47,569
♪ Hey, Mom, there's something
in the back room ♪

430
00:24:48,278 --> 00:24:51,907
♪ Hope it's not the creatures
from above... ♪

431
00:24:51,991 --> 00:24:53,909
During the show, you're going,
"Is he gonna remember

432
00:24:53,993 --> 00:24:55,202
when the song ends?" You know?

433
00:24:55,285 --> 00:24:57,079
"Is he gonna know
the chorus is comin' up?"

434
00:24:57,162 --> 00:24:59,081
♪ We all know conspiracies are dumb ♪

435
00:24:59,164 --> 00:25:02,001
♪♪

436
00:25:02,084 --> 00:25:03,877
[Mark] It really felt special,

437
00:25:03,961 --> 00:25:07,881
that show, Travis stepping in,
and having it be so effortless.

438
00:25:07,965 --> 00:25:10,968
♪ I am still a skeptic,
yes, you know me... ♪

439
00:25:12,344 --> 00:25:15,180
We were watching 'cause, obviously,
that's our drummer playing with Blink.

440
00:25:17,016 --> 00:25:19,518
We could see Mark and Tom
looking at each other like,

441
00:25:19,601 --> 00:25:20,894
"This is crazy."

442
00:25:20,978 --> 00:25:24,106
They had, like, stars in their eyes,
and Travis is just killin' it.

443
00:25:24,189 --> 00:25:28,318
♪ Nice to know ya, paranoia... ♪

444
00:25:28,986 --> 00:25:31,739
I think the guys in our band were looking
at each other like, "It's over."

445
00:25:31,822 --> 00:25:34,950
♪ Up all night long ♪

446
00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:38,662
♪ And there's something very wrong ♪

447
00:25:38,746 --> 00:25:40,831
♪ And I know it must... ♪

448
00:25:40,914 --> 00:25:43,417
[Bill] I remember a conversation
we had on our back porch.

449
00:25:44,501 --> 00:25:46,378
He had a hard decision to make.

450
00:25:47,046 --> 00:25:50,632
♪ I'm not like you guys ♪

451
00:25:51,008 --> 00:25:54,261
♪ Twelve majestic lies ♪

452
00:25:54,845 --> 00:25:56,764
Hey, thanks a lot, man. I appreciate that.

453
00:25:56,847 --> 00:25:58,432
That was fucking great.

454
00:25:58,515 --> 00:26:00,142
[cheering and applause]

455
00:26:02,269 --> 00:26:04,396
[Travis]
I was havin' a hard time with the decision

456
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:05,856
'cause I felt really bad.

457
00:26:06,356 --> 00:26:10,194
I'd been with the band for two years,
and I loved playing with The Aquabats.

458
00:26:11,820 --> 00:26:14,740
[Bill] There's a ton of great drummers
that no one ever knows

459
00:26:14,823 --> 00:26:17,534
because they just didn't catch
a particular break.

460
00:26:18,744 --> 00:26:20,537
I told Travis to do it.

461
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:24,541
[drumming]

462
00:26:25,375 --> 00:26:27,002
[speaker] Woo-hoo!

463
00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:30,506
If we wanna, we can add [bleep]
to, like, the verse.

464
00:26:30,589 --> 00:26:31,715
Like, just layer it a little bit?

465
00:26:31,799 --> 00:26:33,467
Oh, I think as long as the tempo
stays the same.

466
00:26:33,550 --> 00:26:35,594
[overlapping chatter]

467
00:26:35,677 --> 00:26:37,096
Let's take it from the [bleep] top.

468
00:26:37,179 --> 00:26:40,057
[♪ "What's My Age Again?"
by Blink-182 playing]

469
00:26:44,603 --> 00:26:47,356
The way it usually works
is Mark and I would write these things

470
00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:49,441
on an acoustic guitar
in his bedroom or some shit

471
00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:51,276
and work our way through the structure.

472
00:26:52,277 --> 00:26:54,863
I remember Travis was like,
"Fuck, can't you guys write something

473
00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:56,740
with a different beat?"

474
00:26:56,824 --> 00:26:58,367
And I remember I looked at him.
I was like,

475
00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:01,453
"Well, f-fuck, dude, that's, like,
kind of your job." [laughs]

476
00:27:01,537 --> 00:27:04,373
♪ I took her out, it was a Friday night ♪

477
00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:05,457
♪ I wore cologne... ♪

478
00:27:05,541 --> 00:27:07,334
I saw his head tilt kind of like a puppy,

479
00:27:07,417 --> 00:27:10,754
you know, when they're kinda confused,
and something clicked.

480
00:27:10,838 --> 00:27:13,006
And then he just opened up the valve.

481
00:27:13,090 --> 00:27:16,593
♪ And that's about the time
she walked away from me ♪

482
00:27:16,677 --> 00:27:19,429
♪ Nobody likes you when you're 23 ♪

483
00:27:19,513 --> 00:27:22,224
♪ And are still more amused by TV shows ♪

484
00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:23,767
♪ What the hell is ADD? ♪

485
00:27:23,851 --> 00:27:25,519
♪ My friends say I should act my age ♪

486
00:27:25,602 --> 00:27:27,312
♪ What's my age again? ♪

487
00:27:27,396 --> 00:27:29,398
♪ What's my age again? ♪

488
00:27:32,067 --> 00:27:33,694
[Tom] We had a meeting
at the record label,

489
00:27:33,777 --> 00:27:35,696
and the president of the label says,

490
00:27:35,779 --> 00:27:37,531
"You need to prepare for three things:

491
00:27:38,323 --> 00:27:39,867
"you're gonna be bigger
than you ever thought.

492
00:27:40,367 --> 00:27:43,120
"You're gonna make more money
than you ever thought.

493
00:27:43,203 --> 00:27:45,247
And you're gonna be more famous
than you ever thought."

494
00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:49,168
And I said,
"This guy's fucking high." [laughs]

495
00:27:49,877 --> 00:27:53,213
♪ And that's about the time
she walked away from me ♪

496
00:27:53,297 --> 00:27:56,258
♪ Nobody likes you when you're 23 ♪

497
00:27:56,341 --> 00:27:58,969
At this point, you know,
we're barely getting out of clubs

498
00:27:59,052 --> 00:28:02,556
where our friends' bands are lighting
drumsticks on fire in their ass.

499
00:28:02,639 --> 00:28:03,724
♪ What's my age again? ♪

500
00:28:03,807 --> 00:28:09,271
♪ What's my age again? ♪

501
00:28:09,354 --> 00:28:11,982
There's nothing about that
that's gonna be in an arena, you know?

502
00:28:12,065 --> 00:28:14,067
Um, but I was wrong.

503
00:28:14,860 --> 00:28:17,905
[♪ "All The Small Things" playing]

504
00:28:22,492 --> 00:28:25,787
♪ All the small things... ♪

505
00:28:25,871 --> 00:28:27,247
[Mark] We started touring that album

506
00:28:27,331 --> 00:28:29,917
and went from, literally,
asking people at shows

507
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,126
if we could stay at their house

508
00:28:31,210 --> 00:28:34,171
'cause we didn't have money enough
to get a hotel room,

509
00:28:34,254 --> 00:28:38,091
to being on TRL
and people screaming in Times Square

510
00:28:38,175 --> 00:28:39,885
when we would walk to the windows.
It was insane.

511
00:28:41,553 --> 00:28:42,638
♪ Say it ain't so... ♪

512
00:28:42,721 --> 00:28:44,389
[Tom] Shit was just, like, exploding.

513
00:28:45,140 --> 00:28:46,767
That was quite a wild ride.

514
00:28:46,850 --> 00:28:47,976
♪ Carry me home ♪

515
00:28:48,060 --> 00:28:51,438
♪ Na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na... ♪

516
00:28:51,521 --> 00:28:53,440
[Travis]
We were three kids just trying to navigate

517
00:28:53,523 --> 00:28:55,901
through this new world together.

518
00:28:56,944 --> 00:28:58,528
But there was a sense of comfort

519
00:28:58,612 --> 00:29:01,198
because I was doing it
with, like, my two brothers.

520
00:29:01,281 --> 00:29:05,035
♪♪

521
00:29:05,118 --> 00:29:08,163
[crowd cheering]

522
00:29:15,712 --> 00:29:19,049
-[♪ music ends]
-[cheering and applause]

523
00:29:26,306 --> 00:29:29,935
[♪ serene music playing]

524
00:29:30,018 --> 00:29:33,522
[faint crowd cheering]

525
00:29:34,022 --> 00:29:36,149
I was touring with Blink nonstop.

526
00:29:37,442 --> 00:29:39,278
It was tough...

527
00:29:39,361 --> 00:29:41,780
especially since
I was married at the time.

528
00:29:43,740 --> 00:29:48,036
I kinda realized that the relationship
wasn't working for either of us anymore.

529
00:29:49,746 --> 00:29:53,375
I remember we had got into a huge blowout,
and she had said something to me like,

530
00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:56,628
"You know what?
Why don't you go back to LA

531
00:29:56,712 --> 00:29:58,714
and go do your thing out there."

532
00:30:00,257 --> 00:30:02,759
I went back to LA soon after that.

533
00:30:02,843 --> 00:30:05,012
And life just kept getting crazier.

534
00:30:06,847 --> 00:30:10,017
[♪ funky upbeat music playing]

535
00:30:10,100 --> 00:30:14,646
[Tim] I started a side project called
the Transplants with my friend Rob,

536
00:30:14,730 --> 00:30:17,149
and Rob was Rancid's roadie.

537
00:30:17,774 --> 00:30:19,234
"Security."

538
00:30:19,318 --> 00:30:21,528
But we didn't know really what it was,

539
00:30:21,611 --> 00:30:23,613
and it didn't have a drummer.

540
00:30:23,697 --> 00:30:25,866
We were throwing a couple names around,
but we were like,

541
00:30:25,949 --> 00:30:29,578
"If we're gonna get one, let's get
the best one that there is," you know?

542
00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:30,704
[crowd cheering]

543
00:30:30,787 --> 00:30:34,166
[Tim] It was all of our band, but Travis,
he was almost like the maestro.

544
00:30:35,167 --> 00:30:37,627
I feel like I won the lottery
of punk rock, man.

545
00:30:37,711 --> 00:30:40,922
-[♪ "Tall Cans in the Air" playing]
-♪ Nobody move, nobody get hurt ♪

546
00:30:44,468 --> 00:30:46,678
[Travis] It was drum and bass,
it was punk rock,

547
00:30:46,762 --> 00:30:48,722
it was rap, it was hardcore.

548
00:30:48,805 --> 00:30:49,931
It was everything.

549
00:30:50,015 --> 00:30:52,684
♪ Take a look around, baby,
yeah, my whole... ♪

550
00:30:52,768 --> 00:30:54,394
[Tim] In a lot of ways,
the Transplants were

551
00:30:54,478 --> 00:30:58,774
all of Travis's universes in one band.

552
00:30:58,857 --> 00:31:02,861
-♪ Tall cans in the air, let me see 'em ♪
-♪ Fuck you ♪

553
00:31:02,944 --> 00:31:05,697
The energy of us
playing together was wild.

554
00:31:05,781 --> 00:31:07,240
-♪ ...let me see 'em ♪
-♪ Fuck you ♪

555
00:31:07,324 --> 00:31:10,243
I had friends that were
in punk rock for a long time,

556
00:31:10,327 --> 00:31:14,081
and they were like,
"Damn, the Transplants's pit,

557
00:31:14,164 --> 00:31:16,458
man, that's the wildest pit
I've ever been in."

558
00:31:19,628 --> 00:31:21,588
[crowd cheering]

559
00:31:22,631 --> 00:31:24,549
Me and Rob would go out every night

560
00:31:24,633 --> 00:31:26,843
'til six or seven o'clock in the morning.

561
00:31:27,803 --> 00:31:30,722
Oh, we'd party. [laughs]

562
00:31:30,806 --> 00:31:33,016
I guess we did our fair share
of everything.

563
00:31:33,100 --> 00:31:36,520
[♪ "Gangsters and Thugs" playing]

564
00:31:38,647 --> 00:31:41,858
[Shanna Moakler] I met Travis
at a nightclub called The Standard.

565
00:31:41,942 --> 00:31:43,151
I went out with my girlfriend,

566
00:31:43,235 --> 00:31:45,946
and she had a crush
on one of his bandmates.

567
00:31:46,029 --> 00:31:48,782
♪ Gangsters and thugs... ♪

568
00:31:49,574 --> 00:31:53,995
She said, like, that she didn't know
who he was or some shit.

569
00:31:54,454 --> 00:31:57,499
♪ Some of my friends sell drugs... ♪

570
00:31:57,582 --> 00:32:00,877
[Travis] Whatever hot spot there was,
every night, Shanna and I would go out.

571
00:32:04,005 --> 00:32:05,882
I was constantly partying.

572
00:32:11,388 --> 00:32:13,890
You see that little heart there,
beating nicely?

573
00:32:14,891 --> 00:32:18,770
[Travis] From the day I found out
Shanna was pregnant with Landon,

574
00:32:18,854 --> 00:32:21,857
you could just see
I was trying to make a change.

575
00:32:22,732 --> 00:32:25,569
I started exercising,
which I never did before.

576
00:32:26,445 --> 00:32:30,323
One day, I just left the house
and ran to the freeway and back.

577
00:32:30,407 --> 00:32:34,286
I didn't really know what I was doing,
but I wanted to be healthier.

578
00:32:34,369 --> 00:32:36,204
So that started being my regimen,

579
00:32:36,288 --> 00:32:38,498
run to the freeway and back every day.

580
00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:42,043
I had this burning desire

581
00:32:42,127 --> 00:32:43,753
to become the greatest father I could be.

582
00:32:43,837 --> 00:32:45,630
Good job, bubbies.

583
00:32:45,714 --> 00:32:47,883
-Good boy. Okay, let's walk.
-[whispering] Come on, come on.

584
00:32:47,966 --> 00:32:49,885
[Travis] But I was constantly touring.

585
00:32:51,470 --> 00:32:53,388
[♪ dramatic music playing]

586
00:32:57,100 --> 00:32:59,436
Traveling, it's really,
really difficult for me.

587
00:33:01,521 --> 00:33:05,066
With Blink, it went from us flying
a couple times a week

588
00:33:05,150 --> 00:33:07,527
into multiple times in one day.

589
00:33:09,362 --> 00:33:11,490
[Tom]
Travis was always scared of flying,

590
00:33:11,573 --> 00:33:13,658
even before his accident.

591
00:33:14,034 --> 00:33:17,329
He would be shaking during takeoff
[chuckling] and...

592
00:33:17,412 --> 00:33:22,042
with rosaries on the fucking tray.

593
00:33:22,125 --> 00:33:24,336
That's how nervous he was then.

594
00:33:25,337 --> 00:33:28,089
Before he ever got on a plane,
he always called me.

595
00:33:28,173 --> 00:33:31,510
I could tell he was
a little on the frightened side.

596
00:33:31,593 --> 00:33:33,553
He probably picked
some of that up from his mother.

597
00:33:36,181 --> 00:33:39,559
[Travis] When I was a kid,
my mom and I flew to Chicago,

598
00:33:39,643 --> 00:33:41,436
and my mom was just in tears.

599
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:45,315
She was a mess. She hated flying.

600
00:33:46,900 --> 00:33:49,569
I think that, like, zapped me
into hating flying as well

601
00:33:49,653 --> 00:33:51,279
just 'cause I saw my mom hating it

602
00:33:51,363 --> 00:33:53,782
and she was afraid,
and I think at that age you're like,

603
00:33:53,865 --> 00:33:55,325
"I'm afraid, too, then."

604
00:33:56,326 --> 00:33:59,246
♪♪

605
00:34:01,248 --> 00:34:04,376
My friends knew how much
I dreaded being on planes,

606
00:34:04,459 --> 00:34:08,088
and one of them gave me a pill
to help with my anxiety.

607
00:34:08,171 --> 00:34:10,298
They were like,
"Just take this," you know?

608
00:34:10,382 --> 00:34:12,926
"It, like, helps you not stress out,
and it'll, like, numb you.

609
00:34:13,009 --> 00:34:14,594
You might even fall asleep."

610
00:34:18,098 --> 00:34:19,724
It started off really mellow
in the beginning.

611
00:34:19,808 --> 00:34:22,227
One or two pills
before we'd go on a flight.

612
00:34:23,687 --> 00:34:25,897
But things didn't stop there at all.

613
00:34:25,981 --> 00:34:28,108
♪♪

614
00:34:32,779 --> 00:34:36,741
It went from taking painkillers
before we'd go on a flight

615
00:34:36,825 --> 00:34:40,662
to actually having to be on 'em
or I couldn't even function.

616
00:34:40,745 --> 00:34:41,913
[inhales deeply]

617
00:34:44,374 --> 00:34:47,836
We were on tour,
and we were takin' a lotta pills.

618
00:34:47,919 --> 00:34:51,172
I couldn't be like,
"Hey, bro, you need to slow down,"

619
00:34:51,256 --> 00:34:55,260
while I'm over here fucking
super fucked up, you know?

620
00:34:58,513 --> 00:34:59,973
[Shanna] He told me, you know,

621
00:35:00,056 --> 00:35:03,059
"I take about 20 to 30 pills
a day sometimes," you know?

622
00:35:03,143 --> 00:35:05,520
And that just was like,
"How are you alive right now?"

623
00:35:07,564 --> 00:35:11,443
[Randalai] I don't know if that was just
part of the whole being famous

624
00:35:11,526 --> 00:35:12,986
and the party scene...

625
00:35:13,570 --> 00:35:16,323
or if it had anything to do
with self-medicating

626
00:35:16,406 --> 00:35:20,410
because maybe he was hurting in,
in other ways that we didn't know he was.

627
00:35:20,493 --> 00:35:22,954
Whether it was from our mom not being here

628
00:35:23,038 --> 00:35:25,457
or things like that,
I-I honestly don't know.

629
00:35:27,584 --> 00:35:29,836
[Travis] In order for me to sleep,
I would take OxyContin...

630
00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:32,339
to the point where
I felt like I was melting.

631
00:35:35,717 --> 00:35:38,553
I was self-medicating because
I was having to fly almost every day

632
00:35:38,637 --> 00:35:40,388
and be away from my kids.

633
00:35:41,931 --> 00:35:44,100
I was taking so many pills
that I had a security guard

634
00:35:44,184 --> 00:35:46,603
whose only job was to watch me sleep

635
00:35:46,686 --> 00:35:49,272
and make sure I was still breathing.

636
00:35:53,276 --> 00:35:57,697
I started thinking, I might be hitting
a place where I needed to go to rehab.

637
00:36:01,117 --> 00:36:05,497
There was this huge desire
to just quit everything.

638
00:36:07,332 --> 00:36:10,502
But heading back out on tour
and dealing with life on the road

639
00:36:10,585 --> 00:36:12,128
and not being with my kids...

640
00:36:12,962 --> 00:36:14,506
I didn't have the strength.

641
00:36:17,425 --> 00:36:20,178
[♪ vocalizing]

642
00:36:21,137 --> 00:36:25,892
[Mark] In 2005, we were on
this European tour in the dead of winter,

643
00:36:25,975 --> 00:36:27,894
and every single night, we were backstage

644
00:36:27,977 --> 00:36:29,688
just screaming at one another.

645
00:36:31,189 --> 00:36:32,941
And we got back from that tour,

646
00:36:33,024 --> 00:36:35,151
and I got a call from our manager saying,

647
00:36:35,235 --> 00:36:37,028
"Tom's not coming.

648
00:36:37,112 --> 00:36:39,322
Tom's done.
He's not, he's not comin' back."

649
00:36:42,826 --> 00:36:46,830
I think at the time, we were
really overworked and just gone a lot.

650
00:36:48,581 --> 00:36:51,000
[Tom] You know, we're exhausted.
We've been working for years.

651
00:36:51,710 --> 00:36:53,294
We weren't all aligned.

652
00:36:53,378 --> 00:36:56,297
I think Travis was
in a different frame of mind at the time

653
00:36:56,381 --> 00:36:57,966
where, you know,
he had his television show,

654
00:36:58,049 --> 00:36:59,718
and he was kind of insatiable.

655
00:37:01,094 --> 00:37:04,639
He wanted to keep going and going
on an everyday basis,

656
00:37:04,723 --> 00:37:06,850
and my family wasn't set up
to support that.

657
00:37:08,184 --> 00:37:09,227
I need to be at home.

658
00:37:09,310 --> 00:37:11,604
I have a daughter, she's two,
and I've been gone this whole time.

659
00:37:11,688 --> 00:37:14,733
And even on our one break,
I did the Box Car Racer record.

660
00:37:15,191 --> 00:37:18,194
[♪ "I Feel So" by Box Car Racer playing]

661
00:37:20,989 --> 00:37:24,075
[Travis] Tom and I had done
a side project called Box Car Racer.

662
00:37:25,702 --> 00:37:28,121
Box Car was a little heavier
than what Blink was.

663
00:37:28,538 --> 00:37:31,708
♪ Sometimes, I wish I was brave... ♪

664
00:37:31,791 --> 00:37:33,793
And in the back of my head, I wondered,

665
00:37:33,877 --> 00:37:37,005
"How is this gonna go down?
Like, how is this gonna work?"

666
00:37:37,088 --> 00:37:40,383
♪ Wish I was young, wish I was shy... ♪

667
00:37:40,467 --> 00:37:44,679
From my standpoint,
it was everything about Blink except me.

668
00:37:46,181 --> 00:37:49,184
♪ 'Cause I feel so mad... ♪

669
00:37:49,267 --> 00:37:52,479
[Tom] Did the band ever recover
from the Box Car Racer years?

670
00:37:52,562 --> 00:37:55,648
Uh, not the same. No.
You know, I don't think it did.

671
00:37:55,732 --> 00:37:59,402
♪ Let's start over ♪

672
00:38:05,658 --> 00:38:07,494
[Travis] The year Blink broke up,

673
00:38:07,577 --> 00:38:11,331
I had just bought a house
in, like, a nice community

674
00:38:11,414 --> 00:38:12,791
'cause we were having kids, you know?

675
00:38:12,874 --> 00:38:14,667
I think Alabama was just born.

676
00:38:16,169 --> 00:38:18,671
But balancing home life and touring,

677
00:38:18,755 --> 00:38:21,466
our relationship was getting
more and more challenging.

678
00:38:23,092 --> 00:38:24,469
And divorce came soon after.

679
00:38:25,678 --> 00:38:29,140
My marriage fell apart,
my band fell apart.

680
00:38:29,808 --> 00:38:32,769
It felt like my whole world
was falling apart.

681
00:38:33,394 --> 00:38:35,188
[crowd cheering]

682
00:38:35,271 --> 00:38:38,066
[♪ "When Your Heart Stops Beating"
by  44 playing]

683
00:38:40,860 --> 00:38:43,530
♪ I'll be there
when your heart stops beating... ♪

684
00:38:43,613 --> 00:38:46,324
I started a project with Mark called  44.

685
00:38:48,368 --> 00:38:50,787
And I had some more time
to focus on a streetwear brand

686
00:38:50,870 --> 00:38:54,332
I started a few years back
called Famous Stars and Straps.

687
00:38:54,415 --> 00:38:56,918
[♪ "Can a Drummer Get Some"
by Travis Barker playing]

688
00:38:58,044 --> 00:39:01,840
[Killer Mike] The Famous F,
the Famous t-shirt, it was everywhere.

689
00:39:02,590 --> 00:39:05,176
As a rap fan, you wanted
to show up in a Famous shirt.

690
00:39:06,761 --> 00:39:09,347
8[Nate Diaz] Famous Stars and Straps
was my whole wardrobe.

691
00:39:09,973 --> 00:39:11,808
I had probably every shirt they had.

692
00:39:14,060 --> 00:39:16,312
♪ Boom, guess who stepped in the room... ♪

693
00:39:17,438 --> 00:39:19,649
[The Game]
There was a kid named Lil' Chris,

694
00:39:19,732 --> 00:39:22,694
and what a fucking standup guy
Lil' Chris was, man.

695
00:39:24,404 --> 00:39:26,906
[Travis] One day, I'm in the office
in Famous Stars and Straps,

696
00:39:26,990 --> 00:39:29,325
and Nicole, who worked with me
at the time, was like,

697
00:39:29,409 --> 00:39:31,703
"Who's outside washing
your car right now?"

698
00:39:32,704 --> 00:39:36,749
And it's Lil' Chris. He had, like,
figured out where my office was.

699
00:39:36,833 --> 00:39:38,251
So I went out, and I said,
"Hey, what's up, man?"

700
00:39:38,334 --> 00:39:39,752
He's like, "Hey, what's up?"

701
00:39:39,836 --> 00:39:41,754
He'd say, "Yo, I wash cars.

702
00:39:41,838 --> 00:39:44,173
I'm gonna come by all the time
and make sure your cars are cleaned."

703
00:39:44,257 --> 00:39:46,009
And I'm like, "Oh, I don't need
my car cleaned, though.

704
00:39:46,092 --> 00:39:47,844
Everything's okay.
Like, you don't need to clean my car."

705
00:39:47,927 --> 00:39:49,679
He's like, "No, I'm gonna
prove myself to you."

706
00:39:49,762 --> 00:39:52,557
And I said, "Well, you're not
washing my car for free."

707
00:39:53,558 --> 00:39:56,269
And then I'm like,
"This motherfucker is just like me."

708
00:39:56,352 --> 00:39:58,563
He doesn't... [chuckles]
He's, like-- doesn't stop.

709
00:39:58,646 --> 00:40:02,483
He's so determined,
and he's so motivated every day.

710
00:40:02,775 --> 00:40:06,029
I was like, "This is my second half,
like my right hand."

711
00:40:06,571 --> 00:40:09,198
He was into, like, lowriders
and skateboarding.

712
00:40:09,741 --> 00:40:10,825
Everything I was into.

713
00:40:11,951 --> 00:40:14,162
[Tim] They were, like, inseparable.

714
00:40:14,245 --> 00:40:16,664
They were like a buddy movie come to life.

715
00:40:16,748 --> 00:40:18,625
[slight chuckle] For real, man.

716
00:40:19,167 --> 00:40:22,587
Me and Trav, we're out the door.
We've got meetings, meetings, meetings.

717
00:40:22,670 --> 00:40:24,589
[Travis] So, I hired him as my assistant,

718
00:40:24,672 --> 00:40:28,509
and we never spent, like, a day away
from each other from that point on.

719
00:40:29,802 --> 00:40:31,554
He was like a brother to me.

720
00:40:31,638 --> 00:40:33,056
♪ Can a drummer get some? ♪

721
00:40:34,265 --> 00:40:35,975
[The Game] He had Lil' Chris
running from studio to studio

722
00:40:36,059 --> 00:40:39,395
with these big bags of clothes
for all the hip-hop artists.

723
00:40:40,521 --> 00:40:44,067
And I think that that was, um, his intro
in the hip-hop world, to be honest.

724
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:48,112
[tattoo machine buzzing]

725
00:40:48,821 --> 00:40:53,701
[Mister Cartoon] He would show up at,
like, all rap crew, Psycho Realm.

726
00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:55,620
We would see him through
all those different spots.

727
00:40:55,703 --> 00:40:58,247
So, like, he knew
about those hardcore gigs.

728
00:40:59,707 --> 00:41:02,001
Like, puts it together
with the black Cadillac,

729
00:41:02,085 --> 00:41:04,003
rollin' in, inked up.

730
00:41:04,796 --> 00:41:07,173
He was a tattoo maniac.

731
00:41:07,256 --> 00:41:09,467
He was one
of the first celebrities I've known

732
00:41:09,550 --> 00:41:11,094
to blast the side of their head.

733
00:41:12,428 --> 00:41:14,973
Travis showed that he was
way ahead of the curve

734
00:41:15,056 --> 00:41:17,058
by doing it way back then.

735
00:41:18,142 --> 00:41:23,564
That's what made him stand out:
classic cars, tattoo culture,

736
00:41:24,148 --> 00:41:27,193
music, everything together.

737
00:41:27,276 --> 00:41:30,697
♪♪

738
00:41:30,780 --> 00:41:33,741
[Travis] I had been told for so long
that there's a drum machine

739
00:41:33,825 --> 00:41:36,202
that takes the place
for drums in rap music.

740
00:41:37,286 --> 00:41:39,205
I had pretty much counted myself out.

741
00:41:40,206 --> 00:41:42,417
It was kinda around that time,
Rob hit me and he said,

742
00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:47,130
"Yo, Bun and Pimp want you
to make a beat for Bun's album."

743
00:41:47,922 --> 00:41:49,507
I was like, "I don't really make beats."

744
00:41:49,590 --> 00:41:51,801
And he's like,
"Well, now you do." [laughs]

745
00:41:51,884 --> 00:41:54,178
-[audience cheering]
-[♪ "Forever" playing]

746
00:41:54,262 --> 00:41:55,304
[Drake] I got 'em.

747
00:41:55,388 --> 00:41:58,641
♪ Last name Ever, first name Greatest ♪

748
00:41:58,725 --> 00:42:01,144
♪ Like a sprained ankle, boy,
I ain't nothin' to play with ♪

749
00:42:01,227 --> 00:42:02,395
♪ I started... ♪

750
00:42:02,478 --> 00:42:03,855
[Travis]
If Bun and Pimp didn't challenge me,

751
00:42:03,938 --> 00:42:07,233
I probably would have never even
attempted to make a rap beat.

752
00:42:07,734 --> 00:42:10,361
-♪ I'm in your city, faded off the brown ♪
-♪ Nino ♪

753
00:42:10,445 --> 00:42:14,115
But once I did, it just kept
going crazy from there.

754
00:42:16,284 --> 00:42:19,370
At that point, I think I was playing
with every rapper I was listening to.

755
00:42:20,455 --> 00:42:24,167
I was finally able to contribute
to another genre of music I grew up on.

756
00:42:24,250 --> 00:42:26,335
[♪ rapping]

757
00:42:26,419 --> 00:42:28,671
-[airhorn blaring]
-[Eminem] Let's go.

758
00:42:28,755 --> 00:42:29,964
♪ There they go ♪

759
00:42:30,048 --> 00:42:31,883
♪ Packin' stadiums
as Shady spits his flow... ♪

760
00:42:31,966 --> 00:42:33,718
[Killer Mike] That drum matters in rap.

761
00:42:33,801 --> 00:42:36,095
The fact that he understands
the subtle nuances

762
00:42:36,179 --> 00:42:38,973
between what rock tracks demand on drums

763
00:42:39,057 --> 00:42:41,642
and what programming drums demand on drums

764
00:42:41,726 --> 00:42:45,229
says a lot about his duality
and dexterity.

765
00:42:45,313 --> 00:42:47,023
Because usually,
rock drummers don't get it.

766
00:42:47,106 --> 00:42:50,234
♪ Back into the game, and they know rap
will never be the same as befo' ♪

767
00:42:50,318 --> 00:42:53,112
♪ Bashin' in the brains of these...
and establishin' a name as he goes... ♪

768
00:42:53,654 --> 00:42:56,199
[Travis] My strengths lie
in listening to everything

769
00:42:56,282 --> 00:42:57,700
and taking from everything.

770
00:42:57,784 --> 00:42:59,368
♪ ...that I'm talkin' about when we riot ♪

771
00:42:59,452 --> 00:43:02,205
♪ I'm Hannibal Lecter, so just in case
you're thinkin' of savin' face ♪

772
00:43:02,288 --> 00:43:03,581
♪ You ain't gonna have no face to save ♪

773
00:43:03,664 --> 00:43:05,416
♪ By the time I'm through
with this place, so, Drake ♪

774
00:43:06,709 --> 00:43:09,128
♪ I want this shit forever, mane ♪

775
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:13,216
[Travis] My goal would be
to be the most recorded

776
00:43:13,299 --> 00:43:14,801
and collaborative drummer.

777
00:43:16,135 --> 00:43:17,678
[♪ record scratching]

778
00:43:17,762 --> 00:43:20,681
-[♪ "Stay Fly" by Three 6 Mafia playing]
-♪ I gotta stay fly-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y... ♪

779
00:43:20,765 --> 00:43:24,352
Now I had met Adam a few times, DJ AM.

780
00:43:24,435 --> 00:43:28,397
♪ I gotta stay fly-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y... ♪

781
00:43:28,481 --> 00:43:31,651
At the time, AM was, like,
the hottest DJ in LA.

782
00:43:31,734 --> 00:43:34,445
♪ Fly-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y ♪

783
00:43:34,529 --> 00:43:36,364
♪ 'Til I die-ie-ie-ie-ie-ie-ie... ♪

784
00:43:36,447 --> 00:43:38,157
He would hit every genre of music.

785
00:43:39,867 --> 00:43:43,621
Watching AM play, like, records
that no one would dare play

786
00:43:43,704 --> 00:43:47,291
and making them sound cooler
than they ever sounded,

787
00:43:47,375 --> 00:43:49,085
already had my wheels spinning.

788
00:43:49,168 --> 00:43:51,379
♪♪

789
00:43:52,672 --> 00:43:55,675
He could fill up a room, read the room,

790
00:43:55,758 --> 00:43:56,968
and make them go crazy.

791
00:43:57,051 --> 00:43:59,512
♪♪

792
00:44:02,598 --> 00:44:03,599
♪ Here we go ♪

793
00:44:05,685 --> 00:44:06,894
Sure enough, we linked.

794
00:44:07,854 --> 00:44:10,189
And I said, "Yo, I got this crazy idea.

795
00:44:10,273 --> 00:44:14,569
"Drummer-DJ duo where
you're just throwin' records at me,

796
00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:16,237
"and I provide the beat,

797
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:18,698
"and we just kind of remix records live,

798
00:44:18,781 --> 00:44:21,450
but leave no genre untouched."

799
00:44:21,534 --> 00:44:24,579
[audience cheering]

800
00:44:25,204 --> 00:44:26,956
We got into a rehearsal space.

801
00:44:27,790 --> 00:44:30,835
We didn't stop playing
for, like, four to five hours.

802
00:44:30,918 --> 00:44:34,338
♪♪

803
00:44:50,980 --> 00:44:52,440
I don't think we spoke.

804
00:44:53,274 --> 00:44:55,484
He was speaking through his turntables,

805
00:44:56,110 --> 00:44:57,528
and I was speaking through my drums.

806
00:44:59,238 --> 00:45:02,450
[♪ "Ring of Fire" playing]

807
00:45:02,533 --> 00:45:03,993
[Tommy Lee] I remember seeing them

808
00:45:04,076 --> 00:45:08,539
and having the drums playing
on top and in between,

809
00:45:08,623 --> 00:45:13,085
it just added this,
like, whole other element.

810
00:45:13,794 --> 00:45:16,422
It was fuckin' rad. [laughs]

811
00:45:19,926 --> 00:45:23,596
[Travis] Adam was the greatest.
He was one of the nicest dudes ever.

812
00:45:23,679 --> 00:45:25,264
Super positive.

813
00:45:26,140 --> 00:45:29,477
♪ Love is a burning thing ♪

814
00:45:30,853 --> 00:45:32,104
♪ And it makes... ♪

815
00:45:32,188 --> 00:45:34,649
[Kevin Wolff]
Their personalities, so similar.

816
00:45:34,732 --> 00:45:37,485
They'd laugh at the same jokes,
same type of sense of humor.

817
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:41,906
[Travis] We were very much cut
from the same cloth, you know,

818
00:45:41,989 --> 00:45:45,117
except he was sober and I wasn't.

819
00:45:45,201 --> 00:45:48,287
♪♪

820
00:45:51,415 --> 00:45:52,416
[♪ music stops]

821
00:45:57,505 --> 00:46:00,591
[Kevin] Throughout his sobriety,
which was over 10 years,

822
00:46:00,675 --> 00:46:04,887
he did always talk about
how he was still struggling.

823
00:46:06,639 --> 00:46:10,184
I think any addict will, will tell you
that, you know, it's,

824
00:46:10,268 --> 00:46:13,980
it's, it's one day at a time,
and that demon is always there.

825
00:46:16,399 --> 00:46:18,818
[Travis] This is the one dude
who challenged me to be sober.

826
00:46:19,652 --> 00:46:21,946
He would actually make me be sober

827
00:46:22,029 --> 00:46:26,075
for 48-hour periods of time
before I made big decisions.

828
00:46:27,994 --> 00:46:30,705
[Lawrence]
AM really took his sobriety seriously.

829
00:46:31,372 --> 00:46:35,334
AM really wanted Travis to just
not have that be a part of his life.

830
00:46:35,418 --> 00:46:37,503
Not because it would affect
AM's life so much.

831
00:46:38,546 --> 00:46:41,132
He knew how much better a father,

832
00:46:41,215 --> 00:46:43,592
how much better a businessman,
how much better a musician

833
00:46:43,676 --> 00:46:46,595
Travis would be
if he got that out of his life.

834
00:46:48,806 --> 00:46:50,933
[Travis] I remember sitting
with my clothing attorney

835
00:46:51,017 --> 00:46:53,477
and my music attorney.

836
00:46:53,561 --> 00:46:56,939
They basically came and said, like,
"We're worried about you.

837
00:46:58,274 --> 00:47:00,151
"Things are a little excessive right now,

838
00:47:00,234 --> 00:47:01,902
"like the drug use, the pills.

839
00:47:01,986 --> 00:47:04,113
We just wanna make sure
everything's okay."

840
00:47:04,196 --> 00:47:06,282
And I remember being like,
"What the fuck are you guys talking about?

841
00:47:06,365 --> 00:47:10,953
Like, everything's fine.
Like, I'm a functioning addict I guess."

842
00:47:12,580 --> 00:47:15,416
But deep down, I wondered
what it'd be like if I didn't do anything.

843
00:47:15,499 --> 00:47:17,960
How good I'd be at running,
how good I'd be at boxing,

844
00:47:18,044 --> 00:47:19,378
how good I'd be at drumming.

845
00:47:19,462 --> 00:47:24,258
But... in my mind, I'd also accepted
I don't think I'll ever know.

846
00:47:24,342 --> 00:47:27,178
[♪ somber music playing]

847
00:47:31,682 --> 00:47:35,895
[Lawrence] The boys had gotten booked
to do a private event.

848
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:41,484
AM was on the road for a while,
and he was meeting Travis there.

849
00:47:43,152 --> 00:47:45,821
[Travis] I was like,
"I don't even know if I wanna go."

850
00:47:45,905 --> 00:47:47,782
"Like, all these gigs
that I have to fly to?

851
00:47:47,865 --> 00:47:50,868
I just, I feel like
I just want them to go away."

852
00:47:51,535 --> 00:47:53,871
I just want to be at home with my kids.

853
00:47:54,872 --> 00:47:58,042
Before I left, my daughter,
Alabama, was hysterically crying

854
00:47:58,125 --> 00:47:59,251
and just saying, like,

855
00:47:59,335 --> 00:48:01,462
"The roof is on fire,
and it's gonna come off."

856
00:48:01,545 --> 00:48:04,965
And it was just the weirdest thing,
and she was hysterically crying.

857
00:48:06,675 --> 00:48:09,512
She cried for, like,
two hours straight after I had left.

858
00:48:11,931 --> 00:48:13,599
[Kevin] Travis actually flew in private.

859
00:48:14,058 --> 00:48:15,810
He flew in with Lil' Chris and Che.

860
00:48:17,311 --> 00:48:20,898
[Travis] Che was one
of my really good friends

861
00:48:20,981 --> 00:48:24,318
that started touring with me as security.

862
00:48:26,529 --> 00:48:29,532
The show was awesome.
It was outdoors.

863
00:48:29,615 --> 00:48:31,117
It was a really good time.

864
00:48:31,951 --> 00:48:35,246
But I think it was maybe 9:00 or 10:00,

865
00:48:35,329 --> 00:48:36,664
and the whole event was over.

866
00:48:38,749 --> 00:48:41,710
You know, I'd seen Lil' Chris
and AM gathering together,

867
00:48:41,794 --> 00:48:44,296
and they were both like,
"Dude, let's try to go home tonight."

868
00:48:45,965 --> 00:48:47,174
And I said, "Whatever you guys wanna do,

869
00:48:47,258 --> 00:48:51,011
I'll-I'll roll with the punches,
but I'm cool to just chill."

870
00:48:52,555 --> 00:48:54,348
Basically did a majority rules.

871
00:48:54,432 --> 00:48:58,018
Who wants to fly home?
Who doesn't? I lost. [chuckles]

872
00:48:58,102 --> 00:49:02,106
Um, but I was a team player.
I said, "I'll-I'll roll, whatever."

873
00:49:04,650 --> 00:49:07,862
We leave the hotel,
we go over to the airport,

874
00:49:07,945 --> 00:49:10,739
and it's, like, dark.

875
00:49:10,823 --> 00:49:13,659
It's almost midnight, I think.
We're supposed to leave at midnight.

876
00:49:15,202 --> 00:49:17,830
There's all these big, nice planes,

877
00:49:17,913 --> 00:49:19,540
and then it's, like, foggy and weird,

878
00:49:19,623 --> 00:49:21,333
and there's this little plane
[slight chuckle]

879
00:49:21,417 --> 00:49:23,002
in the corner, and I was like,

880
00:49:23,085 --> 00:49:25,921
"Man, I pray to God that's not
our fucking plane over there."

881
00:49:26,005 --> 00:49:28,632
And then, sure enough,
the dude drives past

882
00:49:28,716 --> 00:49:32,720
all the big, nice planes and, of course,
drives to that fucking plane.

883
00:49:32,803 --> 00:49:35,306
[♪ tense music playing]

884
00:49:36,432 --> 00:49:38,976
We smoke out, we hotboxed
the driver's car.

885
00:49:40,853 --> 00:49:42,188
We get out.

886
00:49:42,855 --> 00:49:44,440
Chris takes a picture in front of it.

887
00:49:46,358 --> 00:49:49,069
And he's like, "Fuck, this plane's sketch.

888
00:49:49,153 --> 00:49:51,822
Like, we're on the smallest plane
at this fucking airport."

889
00:49:52,323 --> 00:49:53,824
I call my dad.

890
00:49:54,241 --> 00:49:55,868
He said, "Dad," he says, uh...

891
00:49:56,827 --> 00:49:58,454
And sent me a picture of the plane.

892
00:49:59,705 --> 00:50:01,624
He says, "This is,
this is what we're gettin' on."

893
00:50:01,707 --> 00:50:04,210
He says, "I-I don't really
wanna get on this plane."

894
00:50:07,379 --> 00:50:08,714
I told him if something happens,

895
00:50:08,797 --> 00:50:11,550
like, make sure everything's cool
with the kids, you know?

896
00:50:13,010 --> 00:50:14,011
And, uh...

897
00:50:16,931 --> 00:50:20,935
that was definitely, uh, emotional
for whatever reason.

898
00:50:21,018 --> 00:50:23,270
When I called him, and he was like,
"Hey, wha-what's going on with you?"

899
00:50:23,354 --> 00:50:24,939
And I said, "I don't know, Pal.
I just have, like..."

900
00:50:25,022 --> 00:50:26,357
[sniffles]

901
00:50:34,573 --> 00:50:36,825
[voice breaking] I just said,
"I have a weird feeling," you know?

902
00:50:39,745 --> 00:50:42,373
[drum roll]

903
00:50:54,218 --> 00:50:55,553
We got on the plane.

904
00:50:56,845 --> 00:51:01,767
It was Chris, Che, Adam, and myself.

905
00:51:01,850 --> 00:51:03,644
And I always sit by emergency exits

906
00:51:03,727 --> 00:51:05,980
'cause I'm... [inhales deeply]
I'm a fucking weirdo.

907
00:51:10,526 --> 00:51:13,445
I've always done that since I ever,
you know, had to get on a plane.

908
00:51:16,865 --> 00:51:18,367
I had smoked and drank.

909
00:51:19,118 --> 00:51:21,328
I think took, like,
a Xanax bar and a Vicodin.

910
00:51:22,329 --> 00:51:24,748
So I'm awake.
I think I'm almost dozing off

911
00:51:24,832 --> 00:51:26,500
when we finally take off.

912
00:51:26,584 --> 00:51:29,003
♪♪

913
00:51:30,004 --> 00:51:33,424
[jet engines whirring]

914
00:51:36,635 --> 00:51:38,637
The thing I probably
hate most about flying

915
00:51:38,721 --> 00:51:40,723
is just the rumbling of the jets

916
00:51:40,806 --> 00:51:43,767
and you just know you're about
to haul ass down a runway

917
00:51:43,851 --> 00:51:45,769
and fly up into the air.

918
00:51:45,853 --> 00:51:47,855
♪♪

919
00:51:47,938 --> 00:51:50,190
[engines roaring]

920
00:51:54,236 --> 00:51:56,739
I hear really loud, like, gunshot noises.

921
00:52:02,578 --> 00:52:04,788
I feel it getting very rough.

922
00:52:04,872 --> 00:52:07,916
I guess, at this point,
the landing gear had blown up.

923
00:52:09,793 --> 00:52:13,464
The belly of the plane
is basically on the ground skidding,

924
00:52:13,547 --> 00:52:15,674
and it, it catches fire.

925
00:52:17,217 --> 00:52:20,220
And the plane attempted
to take off to go in the air,

926
00:52:20,304 --> 00:52:23,515
and then we'd go down,
go in the air, go down.

927
00:52:23,599 --> 00:52:25,434
[airplane whooshing]

928
00:52:26,602 --> 00:52:29,021
And we end up hitting an embankment.

929
00:52:29,104 --> 00:52:31,231
♪♪

930
00:52:35,444 --> 00:52:37,529
Just fire and chaos everywhere.

931
00:52:40,741 --> 00:52:43,827
I couldn't go in front of me,
so I went to the side of me.

932
00:52:45,788 --> 00:52:47,289
AM was knocked out.

933
00:52:47,373 --> 00:52:49,833
He had hit his head, so I-I grabbed him

934
00:52:49,917 --> 00:52:51,960
and I shook him, and he woke up.

935
00:52:54,380 --> 00:52:56,131
Tried to make my way in front of him.

936
00:52:57,132 --> 00:52:59,843
The lower parts of my arms caught fire.

937
00:53:03,472 --> 00:53:05,474
I went to the emergency exit,
and I opened it.

938
00:53:07,935 --> 00:53:11,230
Jumped out right into the jet
where all the fuel is.

939
00:53:12,106 --> 00:53:13,440
Then, my whole body caught fire.

940
00:53:14,233 --> 00:53:16,735
[flames whooshing]

941
00:53:18,028 --> 00:53:20,864
I'm running,
and the fire just won't go out.

942
00:53:25,619 --> 00:53:28,414
I stopped, dropped, and rolled,
and then AM came out,

943
00:53:28,497 --> 00:53:30,416
and he patted my feet off fire.

944
00:53:34,294 --> 00:53:37,047
Maybe 10 seconds later,
the plane blows up.

945
00:53:37,131 --> 00:53:39,174
[cymbals crashing]

946
00:53:49,935 --> 00:53:52,479
-[fire truck horn blaring]
-[sirens wailing]

947
00:54:12,666 --> 00:54:14,251
[Randy] My heart sunk.

948
00:54:14,501 --> 00:54:17,421
I-- You know, I thought I have lost a son.

949
00:54:19,673 --> 00:54:22,009
[announcer]
Live from ABC 7.

950
00:54:22,092 --> 00:54:25,012
[reporter 1] Four people are dead
and two critically injured.

951
00:54:25,345 --> 00:54:28,223
[reporter 2] Barker and DJ AM,
whose real name is Adam Goldstein,

952
00:54:28,307 --> 00:54:31,226
are in critical condition at a burn center
in Augusta, Georgia.

953
00:54:32,728 --> 00:54:35,397
[Tom] I was in North Carolina
boarding a plane,

954
00:54:35,481 --> 00:54:39,902
and on the television
outside the gate, it just pops up,

955
00:54:39,985 --> 00:54:42,112
and it's, like, playing and it's the text,

956
00:54:42,196 --> 00:54:46,366
and it's CNN and all this shit,
and I was just frozen.

957
00:54:47,493 --> 00:54:50,621
♪♪

958
00:54:56,210 --> 00:54:58,796
[Dr. Peter Grossman]
Travis was in really bad shape.

959
00:54:59,880 --> 00:55:02,382
These weren't just little burns
that he had.

960
00:55:02,466 --> 00:55:05,427
These were extensive burns to his legs,

961
00:55:05,511 --> 00:55:07,805
his feet, his buttocks,
his arms, his hands.

962
00:55:08,472 --> 00:55:12,100
And there was an absolute concern

963
00:55:12,184 --> 00:55:15,229
as to whether or not,
uh, he would survive.

964
00:55:17,397 --> 00:55:20,234
[♪ dark music playing]

965
00:55:24,238 --> 00:55:26,073
[Travis]
My brain really wasn't functioning.

966
00:55:28,158 --> 00:55:30,702
I was on morphine,
and I was on all sorts of medicine,

967
00:55:30,786 --> 00:55:34,498
so I didn't even really understand...

968
00:55:34,581 --> 00:55:36,083
the severity of it all.

969
00:55:38,627 --> 00:55:40,838
I'd broke all of my ribs.

970
00:55:42,256 --> 00:55:44,675
Fractured my back
in four different places.

971
00:55:46,885 --> 00:55:48,762
They couldn't do any more surgeries,

972
00:55:48,846 --> 00:55:49,972
and I was low on blood...

973
00:55:52,724 --> 00:55:54,935
and then there was talks
of amputating my foot.

974
00:55:56,895 --> 00:55:59,022
Sixty-five percent of my body was burnt.

975
00:56:04,111 --> 00:56:07,155
♪♪

976
00:56:11,577 --> 00:56:14,997
It was fucked up, you know? He, uh...

977
00:56:18,250 --> 00:56:23,755
As soon as I walked in and seen him,
I start crying, you know, and, um...

978
00:56:23,839 --> 00:56:26,008
[inhales deeply]

979
00:56:28,802 --> 00:56:31,221
[Dr. Brian Weeks] Burn injuries
are probably the worst type of injury

980
00:56:31,305 --> 00:56:32,639
that anybody could suffer.

981
00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:35,434
You know, we've all burned
our finger with a blister

982
00:56:35,517 --> 00:56:36,685
and, and knows what happens to that.

983
00:56:36,768 --> 00:56:39,021
Well, imagine that with 65% of your body.

984
00:56:41,356 --> 00:56:43,400
[Dr. Grossman] Clinically,
they were all third-degree burns,

985
00:56:43,859 --> 00:56:45,986
which means we had to remove that skin.

986
00:56:47,446 --> 00:56:50,115
In order to do that, you basically
have to shave away that skin.

987
00:56:50,198 --> 00:56:52,326
You take these knives and you shave away.

988
00:56:52,409 --> 00:56:53,744
You're skinning the patient.

989
00:56:56,079 --> 00:56:57,789
When you take those skin grafts,

990
00:56:57,873 --> 00:57:01,460
you're exposing nerve endings,
and that's very painful.

991
00:57:01,543 --> 00:57:03,503
So now, he's got pain in his burn areas

992
00:57:03,587 --> 00:57:06,214
and pain from the areas
where we harvested his skin.

993
00:57:08,550 --> 00:57:10,302
[Travis] I was in a lot of pain.

994
00:57:11,345 --> 00:57:12,679
They couldn't get
my pain management right,

995
00:57:12,763 --> 00:57:14,139
so I was freaking out.

996
00:57:16,183 --> 00:57:19,645
The normal amount
of pain medicine was not affecting him

997
00:57:20,312 --> 00:57:24,775
and then, giving him even more
wasn't relieving his pain.

998
00:57:25,817 --> 00:57:29,738
It became apparent to me
that this was someone whose body

999
00:57:29,821 --> 00:57:33,200
was now physiologically addicted
to pain medication.

1000
00:57:35,077 --> 00:57:37,204
[Travis] I was basically,
like, on the same drugs

1001
00:57:37,287 --> 00:57:39,581
I was on every day,
so I could feel everything.

1002
00:57:40,958 --> 00:57:42,459
It was all a blur.

1003
00:57:43,168 --> 00:57:46,588
What had happened or who was alive,
I had no clue.

1004
00:57:49,466 --> 00:57:51,927
And then, obviously,
"Well, where's Chris and Che?"

1005
00:57:54,304 --> 00:57:55,931
And, um...

1006
00:58:01,186 --> 00:58:04,564
[Tim] His sister invited me down
to go to the burn unit,

1007
00:58:05,607 --> 00:58:07,609
and I walk in the room.

1008
00:58:09,027 --> 00:58:11,029
Then I go, "Man, Lil' Chris."

1009
00:58:12,489 --> 00:58:13,991
[exhales sharply]

1010
00:58:16,493 --> 00:58:19,663
And I don't cry ever, and he don't cry.

1011
00:58:21,248 --> 00:58:22,708
But we cried, bro.

1012
00:58:25,252 --> 00:58:27,462
That was about as sad as it gets.

1013
00:58:31,133 --> 00:58:33,343
[Travis] Che and Lil' Chris
were like brothers to me.

1014
00:58:34,511 --> 00:58:37,222
I was closer to Chris
than anyone in my entire life.

1015
00:58:39,141 --> 00:58:40,976
[Linda Warn] They were inseparable.

1016
00:58:42,310 --> 00:58:45,147
They had so much fun always.

1017
00:58:47,107 --> 00:58:52,738
Travis took Chris's dreams
and expectations and made them real.

1018
00:58:54,865 --> 00:58:56,199
[sniffles]

1019
00:58:58,035 --> 00:59:00,328
[Lawrence] Lil' Chris and Che's passing
was hard on everyone,

1020
00:59:00,412 --> 00:59:02,372
but it killed Travis.

1021
00:59:02,456 --> 00:59:03,749
Just killed him that he couldn't...

1022
00:59:04,249 --> 00:59:08,253
You know, Chris is having a funeral in LA,
and Travis is still at the burn center.

1023
00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:11,548
♪♪

1024
00:59:14,217 --> 00:59:16,762
Even though he was physically recovering

1025
00:59:16,845 --> 00:59:18,430
and was getting in
a better place, physically,

1026
00:59:18,513 --> 00:59:20,307
every time I went to see him,
he seemed to be doing

1027
00:59:20,390 --> 00:59:23,310
a little worse, uh, emotionally.

1028
00:59:24,728 --> 00:59:27,647
He would, you know,
try to put on a brave face,

1029
00:59:27,731 --> 00:59:31,651
but he didn't know if he would
ever play the drums again.

1030
00:59:31,735 --> 00:59:33,570
He didn't know if he'd,
you know, be able to do

1031
00:59:33,653 --> 00:59:35,822
all these things he dreamed
of doing with his kids.

1032
00:59:37,616 --> 00:59:40,368
[Travis] I couldn't see my kids
'cause 65% of my body

1033
00:59:40,452 --> 00:59:41,912
was an open wound.

1034
00:59:42,746 --> 00:59:44,956
I was handling that miserably.

1035
00:59:48,210 --> 00:59:50,837
I was suicidal
when I was in the hospital...

1036
00:59:53,131 --> 00:59:56,051
and I was there for another
three and a half months,

1037
00:59:56,676 --> 00:59:59,805
and I had 27 surgeries there.

1038
01:00:01,848 --> 01:00:05,894
There was a few times where he was
just ready to call it a day, you know?

1039
01:00:05,977 --> 01:00:09,564
"Bring me a gun," and blah-blah.
But I was like, "Fuck, no."

1040
01:00:11,274 --> 01:00:15,695
"I'll transfer any amount of money,
just fuckin' kill me."

1041
01:00:22,327 --> 01:00:24,162
[Dr. Briere] You know,
it's really hard to put a pin

1042
01:00:24,246 --> 01:00:26,540
on how long it's gonna take
anyone to recover.

1043
01:00:28,291 --> 01:00:31,795
The danger, though, is if when we try
to say you're better or you're not,

1044
01:00:31,878 --> 01:00:32,879
you're recovered when you're not

1045
01:00:32,963 --> 01:00:35,715
because, frankly, even if you think
about your own childhood

1046
01:00:35,799 --> 01:00:37,968
when something happened to you then,
is it completely gone now?

1047
01:00:38,051 --> 01:00:39,469
It probably isn't in its own way.

1048
01:00:41,346 --> 01:00:43,807
So, we're all kinda makin'
our own deal with the devil here

1049
01:00:43,890 --> 01:00:46,226
in terms of what we can tolerate,
what we can handle,

1050
01:00:46,309 --> 01:00:48,061
and how we can move on from it.

1051
01:00:51,773 --> 01:00:54,192
[Lawrence] AM would confide in me a lot,

1052
01:00:54,276 --> 01:00:55,986
and AM was really worried.

1053
01:00:56,069 --> 01:00:59,114
You know, "I don't know if Travis
is gonna be Travis again."

1054
01:00:59,739 --> 01:01:02,826
[♪ poignant music playing]

1055
01:01:04,077 --> 01:01:07,998
[Dr. Grossman]
Adam was different than Travis.

1056
01:01:08,957 --> 01:01:11,626
His burns were not as extensive

1057
01:01:11,710 --> 01:01:13,920
and was in the hospital
for a shorter period of time.

1058
01:01:14,629 --> 01:01:19,634
Interestingly, Adam was calm
and almost subdued.

1059
01:01:20,635 --> 01:01:22,012
There was two extremes.

1060
01:01:22,095 --> 01:01:25,307
One who was very im--
traumatized by the accident,

1061
01:01:25,390 --> 01:01:29,352
and one who was almost, um, uh,
disassociating himself from it.

1062
01:01:31,521 --> 01:01:34,316
[Travis] He was in the burn center
for a week and a half,

1063
01:01:35,066 --> 01:01:36,151
and he was out.

1064
01:01:36,234 --> 01:01:37,402
It was really quick.

1065
01:01:38,320 --> 01:01:41,948
And I think he flew a week later.

1066
01:01:43,909 --> 01:01:47,245
And that was a shock to me.
I just couldn't believe it, you know?

1067
01:01:47,329 --> 01:01:51,333
I just couldn't comprehend
how he was getting on a plane.

1068
01:01:54,461 --> 01:01:57,464
[Lawrence] You know, Jay-Z had asked AM
to go on tour with him,

1069
01:01:57,547 --> 01:01:59,633
and he was supposed to go, like,
three weeks after the crash.

1070
01:02:01,426 --> 01:02:03,720
I'm trying to convince AM,
"We could tour on buses.

1071
01:02:03,803 --> 01:02:05,555
You don't need to do this anymore."

1072
01:02:07,390 --> 01:02:09,893
The part that drove him
wasn't the financial side.

1073
01:02:09,976 --> 01:02:11,853
It was the-the star.

1074
01:02:11,937 --> 01:02:15,482
It was, "I want to perform
for everybody all around the world."

1075
01:02:18,068 --> 01:02:22,072
Performing for people is what allowed him
to be sober in a weird way.

1076
01:02:23,281 --> 01:02:24,950
At the time, that was, that was AM's drug.

1077
01:02:28,245 --> 01:02:30,455
[Travis] We met up
right when I got out of the hospital.

1078
01:02:31,122 --> 01:02:34,251
We shared stories
and just kinda talked about it.

1079
01:02:35,669 --> 01:02:38,755
He had told me he was seeing
a new therapist.

1080
01:02:39,214 --> 01:02:40,924
And this new therapist had told him, like,

1081
01:02:41,007 --> 01:02:42,968
"Look, man, you've been in a plane crash.

1082
01:02:43,051 --> 01:02:47,472
I don't think it's so bad if you,
if you take a Xanax before you fly."

1083
01:02:50,558 --> 01:02:52,811
You know, we gave each other
a hug and he was like...

1084
01:02:52,894 --> 01:02:54,896
You know, I said,
"I'll see, I'll see you in New York."

1085
01:02:56,690 --> 01:02:57,816
And he's like, "Yeah."

1086
01:02:57,899 --> 01:02:59,192
He's like, "But, you know,

1087
01:02:59,276 --> 01:03:01,903
"honestly, I just feel like doin'
a shit ton of drugs

1088
01:03:01,987 --> 01:03:03,363
and saying fuck it."

1089
01:03:05,907 --> 01:03:09,536
There was no kinda
funny punchline at the end.

1090
01:03:13,373 --> 01:03:14,791
[Lawrence] Something was off.

1091
01:03:15,667 --> 01:03:17,877
Kevy, who was AM's best friend,

1092
01:03:18,545 --> 01:03:20,171
you know, he calls me and he says,

1093
01:03:20,255 --> 01:03:22,257
"Dude, [sighs] I think he's using."

1094
01:03:24,551 --> 01:03:26,970
You know, the next day,
we find his sponsor.

1095
01:03:28,555 --> 01:03:30,890
Kevy, myself, and his sponsor
fly out to New York...

1096
01:03:31,641 --> 01:03:34,936
go right to his apartment,
and he's not answering BBM.

1097
01:03:35,603 --> 01:03:37,022
He's not answering his phone.

1098
01:03:38,398 --> 01:03:41,234
We can't get to his door
'cause the doorman won't let us up.

1099
01:03:43,069 --> 01:03:45,030
You know, finally it was like,
"You know what? Fuck this.

1100
01:03:45,113 --> 01:03:46,323
Call the police."

1101
01:03:47,157 --> 01:03:50,994
Police go upstairs...
bang down the door...

1102
01:03:52,662 --> 01:03:55,874
and... it's too late.

1103
01:03:58,084 --> 01:04:00,086
[♪ somber music playing]

1104
01:04:00,170 --> 01:04:03,381
[Travis] I was in New York
working on an album,

1105
01:04:03,465 --> 01:04:06,551
and Daniel, my drum tech,
came and handed me the computer.

1106
01:04:06,634 --> 01:04:09,512
I don't know if it was
TMZ or something, but

1107
01:04:09,596 --> 01:04:12,599
they basically said, um...

1108
01:04:18,438 --> 01:04:21,107
[Lawrence]
You know, I remember that night...

1109
01:04:21,191 --> 01:04:22,984
Travis couldn't even speak.

1110
01:04:23,818 --> 01:04:25,362
I could hardly speak.

1111
01:04:26,488 --> 01:04:29,282
[♪ somber music continues]

1112
01:04:29,366 --> 01:04:36,081
[Travis] After AM passed, it was
beyond difficult to relate to anybody.

1113
01:04:37,457 --> 01:04:40,960
I really had no one.
I would exhaust post-traumatic doctors.

1114
01:04:41,044 --> 01:04:46,174
And I would... just hit walls constantly.

1115
01:04:49,386 --> 01:04:53,223
I just, honestly, wanted
to lock myself in the hotel room.

1116
01:04:53,807 --> 01:04:56,393
I had lost another one
of my closest friends.

1117
01:04:56,476 --> 01:04:59,979
I felt like I was in Final Destination,
and I was gonna be next.

1118
01:05:00,063 --> 01:05:01,564
♪♪

1119
01:05:09,447 --> 01:05:12,158
[Lawrence] It got way worse
after AM passed away

1120
01:05:12,242 --> 01:05:15,370
'cause Travis had
this weird sense of, like,

1121
01:05:15,954 --> 01:05:19,165
"I was supposed to die. Why am I here?

1122
01:05:19,707 --> 01:05:21,334
Why am I the only survivor?"

1123
01:05:23,169 --> 01:05:25,880
[Travis] I definitely had feelings
of survivor's guilt.

1124
01:05:25,964 --> 01:05:27,507
I was beating myself up.

1125
01:05:27,841 --> 01:05:29,217
Like, that was my main thing.

1126
01:05:29,300 --> 01:05:31,386
"Well, why am I here
and everyone else isn't?"

1127
01:05:32,345 --> 01:05:35,932
I had to believe that I am
still here for a reason.

1128
01:05:38,184 --> 01:05:41,521
[♪ mournful music playing]

1129
01:05:50,363 --> 01:05:53,241
Before he passed away,

1130
01:05:53,324 --> 01:05:55,660
our best therapy
was talking amongst each other.

1131
01:05:58,163 --> 01:06:01,332
We would talk about everything
from how hard it was

1132
01:06:01,416 --> 01:06:03,418
for me to walk down a street

1133
01:06:03,501 --> 01:06:06,212
without thinking planes
were gonna fall out of the sky

1134
01:06:07,088 --> 01:06:09,841
to, "Should I tour again?"

1135
01:06:09,924 --> 01:06:11,801
Do you wanna leave the house?

1136
01:06:13,094 --> 01:06:14,304
When is enough enough?

1137
01:06:15,805 --> 01:06:17,265
You've already done so much.

1138
01:06:18,349 --> 01:06:20,059
What else is there left to do?

1139
01:06:20,602 --> 01:06:23,062
Those were all the things
I kinda had to ask myself,

1140
01:06:23,146 --> 01:06:25,732
like, who I was gonna be
after this accident.

1141
01:06:29,152 --> 01:06:32,780
AM had said, "For me,
I feel like I don't have much to live for,

1142
01:06:32,864 --> 01:06:36,493
"and it's really,
you know, fuckin' with me.

1143
01:06:37,702 --> 01:06:40,872
You know, you got kids,
you have a lot to live for."

1144
01:06:41,915 --> 01:06:44,751
[♪ mournful music continues]

1145
01:06:50,798 --> 01:06:52,467
I just didn't leave the kids.

1146
01:06:53,968 --> 01:06:55,845
I would sleep in Landon's bed...

1147
01:06:57,472 --> 01:06:59,098
and then I would sleep in Alabama's bed.

1148
01:06:59,182 --> 01:07:00,433
I would just go back and forth.

1149
01:07:02,894 --> 01:07:05,146
I wouldn't spend a minute away from 'em.

1150
01:07:08,525 --> 01:07:12,153
I'd hired a driver to take them to school
'cause I couldn't drive,

1151
01:07:12,237 --> 01:07:13,988
and I would just lay
in the back of the car,

1152
01:07:14,072 --> 01:07:16,241
and I just was with them
everywhere they went.

1153
01:07:20,662 --> 01:07:22,872
My kids really kept me together.

1154
01:07:24,290 --> 01:07:26,042
It was honestly

1155
01:07:26,125 --> 01:07:27,961
the best thing for my recovery and

1156
01:07:28,920 --> 01:07:30,922
the best thing to give me strength.

1157
01:07:33,550 --> 01:07:36,511
I never wanted to feel as high
as I did in the hospital again.

1158
01:07:37,345 --> 01:07:39,764
I didn't want anything
to do with painkillers.

1159
01:07:40,431 --> 01:07:42,058
I flushed those down the toilet.

1160
01:07:43,184 --> 01:07:45,019
I was not gonna fail my kids.

1161
01:07:46,312 --> 01:07:47,939
I really had to bounce back.

1162
01:07:49,232 --> 01:07:52,068
[waves crashing]

1163
01:07:52,610 --> 01:07:56,114
[laughter]

1164
01:07:56,781 --> 01:07:58,825
[kisses smack]

1165
01:07:59,534 --> 01:08:00,994
-Ew.
-[Travis] Mm.

1166
01:08:01,077 --> 01:08:03,037
-[Alabama Barker] His armpits stink.
-[laughs]

1167
01:08:03,121 --> 01:08:04,872
-[Travis] Yeah, get some of that.
-Ew, that's gross.

1168
01:08:04,956 --> 01:08:05,999
[laughs]

1169
01:08:06,082 --> 01:08:07,584
And why do they smell so bad?

1170
01:08:08,418 --> 01:08:09,836
Didn't you shower last night?

1171
01:08:09,919 --> 01:08:11,379
[laughs]

1172
01:08:11,462 --> 01:08:13,881
-What are you doing?
-I played drums all night.

1173
01:08:14,257 --> 01:08:15,466
You didn't shower last night?

1174
01:08:15,550 --> 01:08:16,801
Yeah, I did.

1175
01:08:17,802 --> 01:08:20,179
Why do you smell? You smell really bad.

1176
01:08:20,263 --> 01:08:21,931
[laughs]

1177
01:08:22,015 --> 01:08:23,558
[Tom] With each passing day,

1178
01:08:23,641 --> 01:08:25,810
he started coming back to who he was.

1179
01:08:26,436 --> 01:08:28,479
Right, left, right, right, left.

1180
01:08:28,563 --> 01:08:31,482
Right, right, right,
left, right, right. No.

1181
01:08:31,566 --> 01:08:33,901
Right, right, right, right,
right, right, left.

1182
01:08:33,985 --> 01:08:36,613
No. You have to practice it
over and over again.

1183
01:08:37,614 --> 01:08:41,117
After the accident,
the things he craved were different,

1184
01:08:41,200 --> 01:08:43,578
and they were more
along the lines of somebody

1185
01:08:43,661 --> 01:08:44,954
that got their priorities straight.

1186
01:08:45,038 --> 01:08:47,040
[drumsticks tapping rhythmically]

1187
01:08:50,501 --> 01:08:52,128
[Travis]
Told you. It's in your blood, son.

1188
01:08:55,923 --> 01:08:59,218
[Atiana De La Hoya] You could definitely
tell that something was different.

1189
01:09:00,428 --> 01:09:02,347
I don't know how I could pinpoint it,

1190
01:09:02,430 --> 01:09:04,766
but it changed for the whole family,

1191
01:09:04,849 --> 01:09:08,603
and I feel like kind of brought us
closer together in a sense.

1192
01:09:09,354 --> 01:09:12,482
[♪ upbeat music playing]

1193
01:09:19,280 --> 01:09:22,784
We loved him trying to cook for us...

1194
01:09:24,035 --> 01:09:25,662
going on bike rides.

1195
01:09:27,246 --> 01:09:30,124
[Atiana] He would always take us
to school in his low ride cars.

1196
01:09:31,209 --> 01:09:34,003
Whenever my friends would come over,
they'd always be so scared of him,

1197
01:09:34,087 --> 01:09:35,755
and then, now that they've gotten
to know him, they're like,

1198
01:09:35,838 --> 01:09:38,257
"I don't know why
I was ever scared of Travis."

1199
01:09:40,259 --> 01:09:43,054
I went on my first tour,
I think I was, like, four years old.

1200
01:09:44,430 --> 01:09:47,433
It's really cool to see him
going to Europe.

1201
01:09:48,351 --> 01:09:50,019
We always take the boat.

1202
01:09:51,688 --> 01:09:53,439
[Travis] They've done every tour with me.

1203
01:09:53,523 --> 01:09:55,400
They've done punk rock tours,

1204
01:09:55,483 --> 01:09:59,112
they've done hip-hop tours,
all sorts of stuff, man.

1205
01:09:59,654 --> 01:10:01,280
They've kinda came everywhere with me.

1206
01:10:03,616 --> 01:10:06,202
[Atiana] He used to smoke a lot
and drink and party and stuff.

1207
01:10:07,161 --> 01:10:09,205
Now, he's, like, completely the opposite.

1208
01:10:09,288 --> 01:10:11,874
I mean, he doesn't drink, smoke.

1209
01:10:11,958 --> 01:10:13,501
He's completely vegan.

1210
01:10:15,795 --> 01:10:18,131
[Travis]
Being sober at this part of my life,

1211
01:10:18,214 --> 01:10:20,341
for my children, is so important.

1212
01:10:21,759 --> 01:10:24,178
You know, everyone is looking
at you, right?

1213
01:10:25,263 --> 01:10:26,889
And especially for my kids...

1214
01:10:28,307 --> 01:10:31,811
the best is not to tell them,
but, but to show 'em.

1215
01:10:35,940 --> 01:10:38,359
After my accident,
I figured out a lot of things.

1216
01:10:39,235 --> 01:10:40,945
How do I become a better human?

1217
01:10:41,446 --> 01:10:43,114
How do I become a healthier human?

1218
01:10:47,034 --> 01:10:48,786
There was, like, checkmarks.

1219
01:10:48,870 --> 01:10:50,496
It was like, "You're not
gonna play drums again.

1220
01:10:50,580 --> 01:10:53,291
You won't run again.
You might not be able to do this again."

1221
01:10:55,460 --> 01:10:57,670
Just crossing them off one by one,

1222
01:10:58,296 --> 01:11:00,506
that's the journey that I've been on.

1223
01:11:02,842 --> 01:11:04,594
[Toby Morse]
I've known Travis through everything.

1224
01:11:05,887 --> 01:11:07,388
We always talk about running together.

1225
01:11:08,473 --> 01:11:11,434
I invited him to this thing
called, uh, 2 Bears 5K.

1226
01:11:12,268 --> 01:11:14,896
The race took off, and I was like,
I'm just gonna run, like, a sexy pace,

1227
01:11:14,979 --> 01:11:16,272
like, you know, a dad pace.

1228
01:11:17,607 --> 01:11:20,485
He just, like, smoked everybody.

1229
01:11:21,486 --> 01:11:24,113
In that moment, I was like,
"Holy shit, dude. This dude's a runner."

1230
01:11:24,197 --> 01:11:27,116
And since then, he's doing
all these Run Travis Runs.

1231
01:11:29,035 --> 01:11:32,371
The same kinda misfits and punk rockers
that would come to see Blink-182

1232
01:11:32,455 --> 01:11:35,875
are now coming to run
with Travis Barker and get healthy.

1233
01:11:38,294 --> 01:11:41,339
[Travis] Running marathons
is a way of processing trauma.

1234
01:11:41,798 --> 01:11:43,216
It gives me control again.

1235
01:11:43,800 --> 01:11:47,053
Instead of that pain being imposed on me,
I'm running towards it.

1236
01:11:48,513 --> 01:11:49,889
It's therapeutic to me.

1237
01:11:51,098 --> 01:11:53,267
[tattoo machine buzzing]

1238
01:11:55,478 --> 01:11:56,687
[Mister Cartoon]
What are we doin' today?

1239
01:11:56,771 --> 01:11:58,231
I don't know. I'm covered.

1240
01:11:58,314 --> 01:12:00,942
-[laughter]
-I'm just, like, tattooing over shit,

1241
01:12:01,025 --> 01:12:03,069
but I still have, like...
I still have my legs.

1242
01:12:03,152 --> 01:12:05,071
-Like, I did both kneecaps.
-Yeah.

1243
01:12:06,155 --> 01:12:08,366
Another tough area you have here.

1244
01:12:09,283 --> 01:12:10,493
[Travis] It's not bad.

1245
01:12:11,786 --> 01:12:15,081
When I grew up, you know,
tattoos were gang-related

1246
01:12:15,164 --> 01:12:18,251
or, you know, guys that were in prison.

1247
01:12:19,502 --> 01:12:23,714
But all these tattoos that's on him
has to do with his life in music.

1248
01:12:24,799 --> 01:12:27,844
[♪ gentle music playing]

1249
01:12:27,927 --> 01:12:30,096
He came out one year for Christmas.

1250
01:12:30,179 --> 01:12:32,390
He said, "Dad," he said,
"Got somethin' to show you."

1251
01:12:34,183 --> 01:12:37,311
When he was just a little boy, we always
referred to one another as "Pal."

1252
01:12:38,646 --> 01:12:41,691
So, he took his shirt off
and he said, "Look,"

1253
01:12:41,774 --> 01:12:44,193
and he had "Pal" tattooed right here.

1254
01:12:46,863 --> 01:12:49,448
[chuckling] Well, at least
he got one good tattoo anyhow.

1255
01:12:51,158 --> 01:12:53,494
[Travis] After the accident,
my dad and I kept getting

1256
01:12:53,578 --> 01:12:55,413
closer and closer and closer.

1257
01:12:56,122 --> 01:12:58,124
He's definitely my rock.

1258
01:12:59,125 --> 01:13:00,543
[Randy] He calls me every day.

1259
01:13:01,043 --> 01:13:02,879
Every single day.

1260
01:13:02,962 --> 01:13:05,548
He calls me before he goes
on stage to play,

1261
01:13:05,631 --> 01:13:06,966
and he tells me he loves me.

1262
01:13:07,049 --> 01:13:09,260
I tell him I love him, you know.

1263
01:13:11,053 --> 01:13:15,057
One day, I went,
"Come here, I got somethin' to show you."

1264
01:13:17,643 --> 01:13:19,812
And he said, "Dad, that's a sticker."

1265
01:13:19,896 --> 01:13:21,647
I said, "No, that's not a sticker."

1266
01:13:22,732 --> 01:13:24,233
I decided, you know,

1267
01:13:24,317 --> 01:13:26,277
just to show him
I support him and everything,

1268
01:13:26,360 --> 01:13:28,404
that I'm gonna go
and I'm gonna get that done.

1269
01:13:29,530 --> 01:13:31,699
I feel just about as proud as I could be.

1270
01:13:34,452 --> 01:13:38,456
[Travis] Well, lookin' back on it now,
my dad was tough on me,

1271
01:13:38,539 --> 01:13:42,793
but what seemed hard at the time
really made me the man I am today.

1272
01:13:45,087 --> 01:13:46,714
[Randy] Travis is my son,

1273
01:13:47,548 --> 01:13:50,384
and, uh, you know,
I love my son very much.

1274
01:13:50,885 --> 01:13:53,137
-[group] Aw.
-And I told him,

1275
01:13:53,220 --> 01:13:57,224
"When you find somebody
like your mother, you hang on to it."

1276
01:13:58,059 --> 01:14:00,436
And so, now he's got that,
and he's hanging onto it.

1277
01:14:00,519 --> 01:14:02,271
[group] Aww.

1278
01:14:02,355 --> 01:14:04,440
[cheering and applause]

1279
01:14:05,316 --> 01:14:08,653
[♪ playing upbeat tune]

1280
01:14:11,072 --> 01:14:13,991
[Kourtney Kardashian Barker]
When I first met Travis,

1281
01:14:14,075 --> 01:14:17,161
he was just very gentle and quiet,

1282
01:14:17,912 --> 01:14:21,415
which doesn't match up with his exterior

1283
01:14:21,499 --> 01:14:22,833
of what you would think he would be.

1284
01:14:22,917 --> 01:14:24,752
[♪ gentle piano music playing]

1285
01:14:25,878 --> 01:14:28,172
[Travis] We lived down the street
from each other.

1286
01:14:28,255 --> 01:14:29,382
I was friends with her,

1287
01:14:29,465 --> 01:14:32,259
and I've known her
and her family for a long time.

1288
01:14:33,552 --> 01:14:36,097
I would spend a lot of holidays with her.

1289
01:14:36,180 --> 01:14:37,306
[speaker] Look at Travis go.

1290
01:14:37,682 --> 01:14:40,393
Halloween and Christmas, we thrived.

1291
01:14:40,476 --> 01:14:42,520
[chuckling] Like, those were our seasons.

1292
01:14:43,437 --> 01:14:45,231
We'd carve pumpkins with the kids,

1293
01:14:45,856 --> 01:14:48,901
and we would decorate gingerbread houses.

1294
01:14:49,443 --> 01:14:51,737
It was a string. It's a strand of light.

1295
01:14:53,572 --> 01:14:58,703
Watching him as a father,
that always drew me to him.

1296
01:14:59,620 --> 01:15:03,624
I got to know his real values
through his kids.

1297
01:15:04,875 --> 01:15:06,711
[Travis] All my guy friends would be like,

1298
01:15:06,794 --> 01:15:08,796
"Man, what are you guys waitin' for?"

1299
01:15:09,422 --> 01:15:12,383
I would literally come home
from the studio at 6:00 a.m.

1300
01:15:12,466 --> 01:15:14,802
from working all night
and wake up two hours later

1301
01:15:14,885 --> 01:15:16,971
to work out with her
just 'cause I wanted to see her.

1302
01:15:19,015 --> 01:15:22,643
I always thought to myself,
if this ever happens,

1303
01:15:22,727 --> 01:15:26,814
it was gonna be bigger
than we could ever imagine.

1304
01:15:28,315 --> 01:15:31,986
Just by the interaction as friends,

1305
01:15:32,069 --> 01:15:34,864
just by lookin' in her eyes,
I knew she was the one.

1306
01:15:36,115 --> 01:15:38,200
[♪ gentle music playing]

1307
01:15:46,333 --> 01:15:48,085
We fell madly in love.

1308
01:15:49,128 --> 01:15:52,339
I felt like I had superpowers,

1309
01:15:52,423 --> 01:15:54,383
like I was a kid all over again.

1310
01:15:55,551 --> 01:15:57,470
[Kourtney shrieks]

1311
01:15:58,929 --> 01:16:01,974
[Kourtney] Six months into being together,

1312
01:16:02,058 --> 01:16:04,852
we found out that we were pregnant.

1313
01:16:05,144 --> 01:16:06,604
We're having a baby.

1314
01:16:06,687 --> 01:16:09,065
-What?!
-[all cheering]

1315
01:16:14,945 --> 01:16:18,866
[Kourtney]
And everything just made so much sense.

1316
01:16:19,784 --> 01:16:21,410
We were so happy.

1317
01:16:23,162 --> 01:16:25,372
[Travis] We were
about three months pregnant,

1318
01:16:25,456 --> 01:16:27,875
and she was gonna be a little girl,

1319
01:16:27,958 --> 01:16:30,711
and we had decided to name her Tulip.

1320
01:16:30,795 --> 01:16:32,254
And we go to the doctor,

1321
01:16:32,338 --> 01:16:34,924
and the doctor tells us

1322
01:16:35,007 --> 01:16:36,509
the baby doesn't have a heartbeat.

1323
01:16:39,804 --> 01:16:42,640
[♪ solemn music playing]

1324
01:16:44,391 --> 01:16:48,813
[Kourtney] When we lost the baby,
we were devastated.

1325
01:16:49,814 --> 01:16:53,150
We just laid in bed and cried for days.

1326
01:16:56,237 --> 01:16:59,865
All we wanted was to have a baby together.

1327
01:17:03,160 --> 01:17:08,040
I was 41, and I remember my doctor saying,
"You have to do IVF."

1328
01:17:09,125 --> 01:17:10,751
Confirm name and date of birth.

1329
01:17:10,835 --> 01:17:12,169
-Yeah. That's my date of birth.
-Okay.

1330
01:17:12,253 --> 01:17:13,712
Just put the sample in this cup

1331
01:17:13,796 --> 01:17:15,172
and then, when you're done,
just place it on that counter

1332
01:17:15,256 --> 01:17:16,423
and I'll come and grab it for you.

1333
01:17:16,507 --> 01:17:19,218
[Kourtney] It was so hard on my body.

1334
01:17:19,301 --> 01:17:22,471
We tried five times over eight months

1335
01:17:22,555 --> 01:17:25,141
and it felt like my body
was shutting down.

1336
01:17:25,224 --> 01:17:29,270
[doctor] This one is small.
Very unlikely to get a mature egg.

1337
01:17:30,271 --> 01:17:32,773
[Travis] They're like,
"You have less eggs every month."

1338
01:17:32,857 --> 01:17:36,485
And it was like, "Oh, gosh."
Like, this is so discouraging.

1339
01:17:37,236 --> 01:17:40,239
Let's cover this
so we can do your ultrasound.

1340
01:17:41,115 --> 01:17:46,328
[Kourtney] Each time we would try it,
it just felt so disappointing.

1341
01:17:47,454 --> 01:17:50,875
It really did something
that messed with me mentally.

1342
01:17:52,835 --> 01:17:56,839
And I remember crying to Travis,
"I can't do this anymore."

1343
01:17:58,716 --> 01:18:03,304
I just said to him,
"If God has a baby in store for us,

1344
01:18:03,387 --> 01:18:05,973
it will happen, naturally."

1345
01:18:08,601 --> 01:18:11,937
[waves crashing]

1346
01:18:13,189 --> 01:18:16,567
[Travis] A year after being together,
I asked Kourtney to marry me

1347
01:18:17,693 --> 01:18:20,029
and we shifted all of our energy
into the wedding.

1348
01:18:21,530 --> 01:18:24,825
[♪ upbeat, romantic music playing]

1349
01:18:40,007 --> 01:18:43,385
After my accident, there was
a lot of "no way, no hows."

1350
01:18:44,303 --> 01:18:46,180
I never thought
I was gonna get married again.

1351
01:18:46,263 --> 01:18:48,224
I never planned on having
any more children.

1352
01:18:49,808 --> 01:18:52,811
And then, I fell in love
with my best friend.

1353
01:18:56,398 --> 01:18:59,109
It just started opening my eyes
and my world.

1354
01:19:00,486 --> 01:19:03,322
Sounds corny,
but it's just like a fairytale story.

1355
01:19:03,405 --> 01:19:05,324
♪♪

1356
01:19:11,830 --> 01:19:14,583
[crowd cheering]

1357
01:19:14,667 --> 01:19:17,294
[♪ rock music playing]

1358
01:19:21,507 --> 01:19:22,925
[Mark] Hey. Hey, Travis.

1359
01:19:23,008 --> 01:19:24,260
[band member]
We've got an announcement here!

1360
01:19:24,343 --> 01:19:25,678
[Tom] Hey, Travis!

1361
01:19:25,761 --> 01:19:28,389
[Mark] Hey, Travis.

1362
01:19:30,140 --> 01:19:33,811
[Kourtney] A year after stopping IVF,

1363
01:19:33,894 --> 01:19:37,690
we got pregnant, naturally,
on Valentine's Day.

1364
01:19:38,190 --> 01:19:39,817
[Mark] Whoa. Hey, calm down.

1365
01:19:39,900 --> 01:19:43,070
[whistling]

1366
01:19:43,153 --> 01:19:45,072
[Travis]
For me, it was kinda unbelievable.

1367
01:19:46,782 --> 01:19:47,992
It was a miracle.

1368
01:19:48,575 --> 01:19:52,454
[drumroll]

1369
01:19:53,539 --> 01:19:56,542
[crowd cheering]

1370
01:19:57,918 --> 01:20:00,170
[Travis]
Once you've experienced a miscarriage,

1371
01:20:00,254 --> 01:20:01,588
you're just waiting, you know?

1372
01:20:01,672 --> 01:20:05,134
You're waiting
for something awful to happen.

1373
01:20:05,217 --> 01:20:07,553
[warbling]

1374
01:20:08,470 --> 01:20:10,806
[Kourtney]
I think because all of his trauma

1375
01:20:10,889 --> 01:20:12,891
and everything he's been through,

1376
01:20:12,975 --> 01:20:15,978
he was really worried the whole pregnancy.

1377
01:20:18,022 --> 01:20:19,356
[Travis] Is that his little hand?

1378
01:20:19,440 --> 01:20:21,066
[doctor] [over phone]
Yeah, it's in a fist.

1379
01:20:21,150 --> 01:20:22,901
[Kourtney] [over phone]
We're waiting for it to open up

1380
01:20:22,985 --> 01:20:24,737
so he can look at all the bones.

1381
01:20:25,529 --> 01:20:28,866
[Travis] We got into seven months,
and I was touring.

1382
01:20:28,949 --> 01:20:32,244
I was actually in Europe, and she says,

1383
01:20:32,328 --> 01:20:36,123
"Trav, I-I went to my doctor

1384
01:20:36,206 --> 01:20:40,627
and the baby's lungs
are filling with fluid."

1385
01:20:40,711 --> 01:20:42,880
[♪ tense music playing]

1386
01:20:42,963 --> 01:20:47,176
It was terrifying
going in for the surgery.

1387
01:20:48,302 --> 01:20:51,555
[Travis] They did this surgery
where they drained

1388
01:20:51,638 --> 01:20:53,223
the fluid from his lungs

1389
01:20:53,307 --> 01:20:56,143
by placing a needle through her stomach.

1390
01:20:57,353 --> 01:20:59,980
The whole time, I was preparing myself.

1391
01:21:02,274 --> 01:21:04,902
[Kourtney] They canceled four shows,

1392
01:21:04,985 --> 01:21:07,696
and he just came
and laid with me in the hospital

1393
01:21:07,780 --> 01:21:11,950
and was there with me
and made sure that everything was okay.

1394
01:21:14,745 --> 01:21:15,829
Mm.

1395
01:21:15,913 --> 01:21:17,915
Rocky's gonna come out doin' front kicks.

1396
01:21:20,876 --> 01:21:23,337
The surgery was a success, thank God.

1397
01:21:25,005 --> 01:21:26,632
And Rocky was born one month later.

1398
01:21:28,884 --> 01:21:31,595
[Kourtney] They had told us,
you're probably gonna be in the hospital

1399
01:21:31,678 --> 01:21:35,307
for eight weeks, at the minimum.

1400
01:21:36,058 --> 01:21:38,936
[Travis] We were in the NICU for a week

1401
01:21:39,019 --> 01:21:41,397
and then we went home
and we've never been back.

1402
01:21:41,480 --> 01:21:45,192
He's like the healthiest, happiest
little human I've ever met.

1403
01:21:46,402 --> 01:21:49,905
[♪ upbeat music playing]

1404
01:21:49,988 --> 01:21:52,616
And the whole time Rocky was in her belly,

1405
01:21:52,699 --> 01:21:54,034
he was listenin' to me practice.

1406
01:21:54,118 --> 01:21:55,119
I would play for him.

1407
01:21:59,623 --> 01:22:02,501
God blessed us with this healthy,
beautiful baby boy.

1408
01:22:03,460 --> 01:22:06,213
[Kourtney]
Having Rocky gives him another chance

1409
01:22:06,296 --> 01:22:09,758
to do what he loves most and does best:

1410
01:22:09,842 --> 01:22:11,051
being a father.

1411
01:22:12,761 --> 01:22:15,222
Go. Yes.

1412
01:22:15,305 --> 01:22:17,599
[Kourtney] Being able to experience life

1413
01:22:17,683 --> 01:22:21,270
through a baby's eyes all over again,

1414
01:22:22,146 --> 01:22:24,773
every experience feels new.

1415
01:22:26,275 --> 01:22:27,901
It changes you.

1416
01:22:30,571 --> 01:22:34,741
There's never a dull moment
in this big, blended family.

1417
01:22:34,825 --> 01:22:37,411
[Travis] [laughs]
My pants are falling down.

1418
01:22:38,412 --> 01:22:42,040
She has three children.
I have three children.

1419
01:22:42,124 --> 01:22:44,501
And then, we have Rocky.

1420
01:22:45,252 --> 01:22:47,463
We all live together in one house.

1421
01:22:48,797 --> 01:22:50,716
It's basically The Brady Bunch.

1422
01:22:52,301 --> 01:22:54,595
[Atiana]
Do you remember The Brady Bunch?

1423
01:22:54,678 --> 01:22:56,388
The family that had, like, the van,

1424
01:22:56,472 --> 01:22:58,140
and, like, they'd
all show up together and, like--

1425
01:22:58,223 --> 01:23:00,142
-We're so much cooler than that family.
-[Atiana] We're-- It's--

1426
01:23:00,225 --> 01:23:02,769
even if we look like The Addams Family,
we're still like that.

1427
01:23:02,853 --> 01:23:04,855
♪♪

1428
01:23:06,523 --> 01:23:08,525
[Kourtney] We balance each other.

1429
01:23:08,609 --> 01:23:11,028
[♪ electric guitar playing]

1430
01:23:11,111 --> 01:23:14,865
He's one of the hardest
working people that I know.

1431
01:23:14,948 --> 01:23:17,701
He's gonna go, and we're gonna
all make eye contact

1432
01:23:17,784 --> 01:23:19,286
-for the stop, okay?
-Okay.

1433
01:23:19,369 --> 01:23:23,624
[Kourtney] He's really so dedicated
and passionate about his work.

1434
01:23:24,374 --> 01:23:26,001
[announcer] [over speakers]
Let's bring out the greatest drummers

1435
01:23:26,084 --> 01:23:29,963
of all time, Travis Barker of Blink-182.

1436
01:23:30,047 --> 01:23:31,298
[crowd cheers]

1437
01:23:35,636 --> 01:23:38,764
Drumming is something I've done
since I was four years old.

1438
01:23:39,306 --> 01:23:41,183
Like, I'm not stopping now.

1439
01:23:43,894 --> 01:23:45,521
I'm not a person that can idle.

1440
01:23:45,604 --> 01:23:47,397
[crowd cheering]

1441
01:23:51,985 --> 01:23:54,446
Whether it's designing a shoe for Vans

1442
01:23:54,530 --> 01:23:56,365
or playing with other artists,

1443
01:23:57,366 --> 01:23:59,159
you know, or producing,

1444
01:23:59,868 --> 01:24:01,286
I need challenges.

1445
01:24:02,579 --> 01:24:03,914
♪ Travie, where the drums at? ♪

1446
01:24:03,997 --> 01:24:05,165
♪ Uh... ♪

1447
01:24:05,249 --> 01:24:07,751
[Lil Wayne] To work in the studio
with Travis is interesting

1448
01:24:07,834 --> 01:24:10,546
because that's like
working with a producer

1449
01:24:10,629 --> 01:24:13,799
that's gonna make the beat
right there in front of you.

1450
01:24:14,424 --> 01:24:16,718
That's pretty rare these days.

1451
01:24:17,386 --> 01:24:19,137
[Trippie Redd]
Every time he gets on a song,

1452
01:24:19,221 --> 01:24:21,765
it's adding, like, some off-the-wall shit.

1453
01:24:21,848 --> 01:24:24,601
It's not nothin' normal,
like, the way he plays.

1454
01:24:26,436 --> 01:24:28,438
[Lawrence]
He's found himself now as an artist.

1455
01:24:29,147 --> 01:24:31,066
He's hit his stride as a producer.

1456
01:24:31,149 --> 01:24:35,028
[♪ "bloody valentine"
by MGK and Travis Barker playing]

1457
01:24:37,030 --> 01:24:40,826
♪ I don't do fake love,
but I'll take some from you tonight... ♪

1458
01:24:40,909 --> 01:24:42,911
[MGK] Travis is just an all-in guy.

1459
01:24:43,620 --> 01:24:45,372
The process never stopped.

1460
01:24:45,455 --> 01:24:48,458
Like, we lived and breathed
the Tickets to My Downfall album.

1461
01:24:49,084 --> 01:24:50,586
♪ ...let's play pretend... ♪

1462
01:24:50,669 --> 01:24:53,046
It was just a huge inspiration
to see someone like Travis

1463
01:24:53,130 --> 01:24:54,756
that excited about our band.

1464
01:24:55,841 --> 01:24:59,553
A good producer finding in you
what you're capable of,

1465
01:24:59,636 --> 01:25:00,971
that's the job.

1466
01:25:01,054 --> 01:25:03,932
♪ Na-na-na, na-na-na ♪

1467
01:25:04,016 --> 01:25:05,017
♪ Na-na-na... ♪

1468
01:25:05,100 --> 01:25:06,393
[MGK] He's just here for the music.

1469
01:25:07,102 --> 01:25:09,813
He knows where it's going,
he's got a crazy vision.

1470
01:25:09,896 --> 01:25:12,441
♪♪

1471
01:25:19,906 --> 01:25:22,367
[Mark] It takes three people
for Blink to work

1472
01:25:23,368 --> 01:25:25,370
and the band was on indefinite hiatus.

1473
01:25:26,830 --> 01:25:32,210
I hadn't really talked to Tom in years.
Like, we broke off everything.

1474
01:25:33,378 --> 01:25:38,050
And then, one day, Tom texted me
a picture of a video that he was shooting.

1475
01:25:38,133 --> 01:25:39,718
I texted back,
"That's awesome. Stoked for you.

1476
01:25:39,801 --> 01:25:42,554
Uh, by the way, I have cancer,
and I start chemotherapy."

1477
01:25:45,641 --> 01:25:47,851
And immediately,
my phone rings and it's Tom.

1478
01:25:49,186 --> 01:25:51,813
[Tom] I was like, "Oh, my God.
I'm comin' up to see you."

1479
01:25:51,897 --> 01:25:56,151
So, I drove up to see him,
and then Travis was there.

1480
01:25:57,986 --> 01:26:01,615
It was a heavy conversation
because of what Mark was about to endure.

1481
01:26:03,241 --> 01:26:05,661
[Travis] He had stage 4A lymphoma.

1482
01:26:07,162 --> 01:26:09,122
I would go spend time
with Mark quite a bit.

1483
01:26:09,873 --> 01:26:12,876
Tom had reached out.
He was also spendin' some time with Mark.

1484
01:26:14,336 --> 01:26:16,171
One of us was there almost every day.

1485
01:26:18,674 --> 01:26:21,510
[Mark] I was trying to be hopeful
through my chemotherapy

1486
01:26:21,593 --> 01:26:22,969
and put on a brave face,

1487
01:26:23,053 --> 01:26:25,389
but I was not so confident on the inside.

1488
01:26:26,682 --> 01:26:29,434
I was despairing.
What was gonna happen?

1489
01:26:30,560 --> 01:26:31,937
Tomorrow, I have chemotherapy,

1490
01:26:32,020 --> 01:26:33,355
I'm gonna feel like hell the next day,

1491
01:26:33,438 --> 01:26:34,648
I'm gonna feel like hell the next day.

1492
01:26:35,982 --> 01:26:38,652
We were just trying to give him
any kind of support,

1493
01:26:38,735 --> 01:26:40,028
do anything we could for him.

1494
01:26:42,072 --> 01:26:43,907
And we had said during that time,

1495
01:26:43,990 --> 01:26:46,785
when Mark beats this,
we're gonna make music again.

1496
01:26:46,868 --> 01:26:48,120
We're gonna tour again.

1497
01:26:50,455 --> 01:26:52,874
And sure enough, Mark beat it.

1498
01:26:53,917 --> 01:26:58,130
♪♪

1499
01:27:01,216 --> 01:27:04,845
[audience cheering]

1500
01:27:04,928 --> 01:27:07,055
[Mark] We walk on stage,
and I didn't know what to expect.

1501
01:27:07,139 --> 01:27:10,642
I mean, Blink has been around,
at that point, for almost 30 years...

1502
01:27:10,726 --> 01:27:13,395
[cheering continues]

1503
01:27:13,478 --> 01:27:14,688
...and it's a packed house.

1504
01:27:14,771 --> 01:27:17,858
It's more people
than we played for in forever.

1505
01:27:20,110 --> 01:27:21,653
It felt like coming home.

1506
01:27:23,488 --> 01:27:27,117
[cheering intensifies]

1507
01:27:27,200 --> 01:27:29,828
-[♪ "ONE MORE TIME" playing]
-♪ Strangers ♪

1508
01:27:29,911 --> 01:27:32,664
♪ From strangers into brothers ♪

1509
01:27:32,748 --> 01:27:37,294
♪ From brothers
into strangers once again ♪

1510
01:27:37,377 --> 01:27:39,880
♪ We saw the whole world ♪

1511
01:27:41,006 --> 01:27:43,592
♪ But I couldn't see the meaning ♪

1512
01:27:43,967 --> 01:27:47,888
♪ I couldn't even recognize
my friends... ♪

1513
01:27:47,971 --> 01:27:49,431
[Tom] We got back together the first time

1514
01:27:49,514 --> 01:27:50,724
'cause Travis survived a plane crash.

1515
01:27:50,807 --> 01:27:53,643
I was like, "Holy shit.
If you can get through this, I'm here."

1516
01:27:54,644 --> 01:27:56,062
And we broke up again.

1517
01:27:56,146 --> 01:27:58,106
After that, then Mark had cancer.

1518
01:27:58,190 --> 01:28:00,567
"Holy shit.
When you get through this, I'm here."

1519
01:28:00,650 --> 01:28:05,697
♪ Do I have to die to hear you miss me? ♪

1520
01:28:06,239 --> 01:28:11,286
♪ Do I have to die
to hear you say goodbye? ♪

1521
01:28:12,120 --> 01:28:17,334
♪ I don't want to act
like there's tomorrow ♪

1522
01:28:17,417 --> 01:28:22,964
♪ I don't want to wait
to do this one more time ♪

1523
01:28:23,048 --> 01:28:25,884
♪ One more time... ♪

1524
01:28:25,967 --> 01:28:27,886
[Tom] This song came from Travis.

1525
01:28:28,595 --> 01:28:31,598
Putting forth a song
with such direct lyrics

1526
01:28:31,681 --> 01:28:34,309
is extremely expressive for Travis.

1527
01:28:34,893 --> 01:28:36,478
♪ I miss you ♪

1528
01:28:37,604 --> 01:28:40,315
♪ Took time, but I admit it ♪

1529
01:28:40,398 --> 01:28:44,611
♪ It still hurts
even after all these years... ♪

1530
01:28:45,529 --> 01:28:48,365
[Travis] Throughout the years
of grief and trauma

1531
01:28:48,448 --> 01:28:51,576
and trying to figure out
how and why everything happens...

1532
01:28:52,911 --> 01:28:56,331
what I learned,
life's just not for certain.

1533
01:28:56,414 --> 01:29:01,920
♪ I don't want to act like
there's tomorrow ♪

1534
01:29:02,003 --> 01:29:07,801
♪ I don't want to wait
to do this one more time ♪

1535
01:29:07,884 --> 01:29:10,220
♪ One more time ♪

1536
01:29:10,303 --> 01:29:13,223
♪ One more time ♪

1537
01:29:13,807 --> 01:29:15,725
♪ I miss you ♪

1538
01:29:15,809 --> 01:29:17,435
[audience cheering]

1539
01:29:17,519 --> 01:29:18,645
[Mark] We're Blink-182.

1540
01:29:18,728 --> 01:29:20,689
Thank you all so very much
for being with us tonight.

1541
01:29:20,772 --> 01:29:22,107
We love you!

1542
01:29:25,652 --> 01:29:29,072
[cheering continues, fades]

1543
01:29:32,325 --> 01:29:33,743
[Travis] Every day I open my eyes,

1544
01:29:33,827 --> 01:29:36,538
I'm reminded of walking away
from a plane crash

1545
01:29:36,621 --> 01:29:38,039
where four people passed away.

1546
01:29:38,874 --> 01:29:40,750
[♪ gentle music playing]

1547
01:29:40,834 --> 01:29:43,837
And then, AM passing away,
like, less than a year later.

1548
01:29:45,839 --> 01:29:49,467
But I've also accepted who I am now and...

1549
01:29:52,888 --> 01:29:54,306
[clicks tongue]

1550
01:30:14,826 --> 01:30:17,078
[sighs, sniffles]

1551
01:30:17,787 --> 01:30:20,749
♪♪

1552
01:30:21,833 --> 01:30:22,834
[sniffles]

1553
01:30:26,087 --> 01:30:27,839
I think I've, you know...

1554
01:30:30,258 --> 01:30:31,426
[exhales sharply]

1555
01:30:33,637 --> 01:30:37,849
I've figured out a way to carry on
and live my best in their memory.

1556
01:30:41,728 --> 01:30:43,146
[Linda] It's always hard...

1557
01:30:44,606 --> 01:30:46,524
because the "what if" is there,

1558
01:30:47,525 --> 01:30:50,278
and the "what ifs" can kill your life.

1559
01:30:50,362 --> 01:30:52,948
♪♪

1560
01:30:53,031 --> 01:30:57,160
So, I let him know
there's no hard feelings here.

1561
01:31:00,288 --> 01:31:02,624
[Travis]
It took years of survivor's guilt...

1562
01:31:04,084 --> 01:31:07,295
of trying to understand
what they'd want me to do.

1563
01:31:08,588 --> 01:31:10,423
[crying] And I've felt like
never flying again

1564
01:31:10,507 --> 01:31:12,175
would probably...

1565
01:31:12,258 --> 01:31:13,343
[sniffles]

1566
01:31:15,095 --> 01:31:17,097
...not be one of those things, you know?

1567
01:31:21,226 --> 01:31:24,062
[speed bag thudding]

1568
01:31:25,855 --> 01:31:28,358
When I first started
thinking about flying again,

1569
01:31:28,441 --> 01:31:31,319
I actually had a series of...

1570
01:31:31,403 --> 01:31:32,696
There was, like, nightmares.

1571
01:31:32,779 --> 01:31:35,156
'Cause for so long,
it didn't even enter my head.

1572
01:31:38,451 --> 01:31:42,288
[Kourtney] I could never truly understand
what he went through

1573
01:31:42,372 --> 01:31:45,000
or what he still feels to this day.

1574
01:31:46,501 --> 01:31:50,171
So, I was like,
"You never have to fly again.

1575
01:31:50,255 --> 01:31:52,465
I would never be mad at you for that."

1576
01:31:54,634 --> 01:31:57,637
For our first Valentine's Day together,

1577
01:31:58,513 --> 01:32:01,599
I made him this collage of a tour bus

1578
01:32:01,683 --> 01:32:05,895
and all these different places
that I'd love to drive to with him.

1579
01:32:07,647 --> 01:32:11,192
[Travis] But I had this force
within me that was like,

1580
01:32:11,276 --> 01:32:14,237
"I don't wanna be restricted
by anything anymore.

1581
01:32:15,238 --> 01:32:18,408
There's nothing that's
gonna have power over me."

1582
01:32:18,491 --> 01:32:21,119
[♪ intense music playing]

1583
01:32:22,787 --> 01:32:26,458
[Kourtney] Eventually, he said to me,
"If you plan a trip

1584
01:32:26,541 --> 01:32:30,628
and it's somewhere that
I couldn't drive to, I'll go."

1585
01:32:32,797 --> 01:32:34,591
But he didn't wanna know about it

1586
01:32:34,674 --> 01:32:37,886
until 24 hours before the flight,

1587
01:32:37,969 --> 01:32:41,931
so he didn't have too much time
to think about it.

1588
01:32:45,602 --> 01:32:50,106
When he came to tell us kids,
we were really against it at first

1589
01:32:50,190 --> 01:32:51,941
'cause all we had known is "no."

1590
01:32:52,025 --> 01:32:54,569
"No flying." "Don't fly." "Let's not fly."

1591
01:32:54,652 --> 01:32:56,863
He told us, he was like,
"Yeah, I'm gonna get on a plane."

1592
01:32:56,946 --> 01:32:58,573
And we were like,
"Fuck, no, you're not." [chuckles]

1593
01:32:58,656 --> 01:33:00,492
You're like--
'Cause that's all we knew growing up

1594
01:33:00,575 --> 01:33:02,619
was we're never getting on a plane.

1595
01:33:05,371 --> 01:33:09,000
I think I inherited paranoia
[slight chuckle] from him.

1596
01:33:10,835 --> 01:33:13,088
My little sister's
really bad with it, too.

1597
01:33:13,963 --> 01:33:16,966
♪♪

1598
01:33:18,093 --> 01:33:20,720
[Kourtney] When I told him that,

1599
01:33:20,804 --> 01:33:26,226
"I have a flight booked,
we're going to Mexico,"

1600
01:33:26,309 --> 01:33:30,271
he took it in and was like, "Okay."

1601
01:33:31,773 --> 01:33:36,611
He started getting more anxious
as the day went on.

1602
01:33:37,362 --> 01:33:39,447
So we did breath work.

1603
01:33:39,531 --> 01:33:43,785
And then, this just sounds crazy,
but during my breath work,

1604
01:33:43,868 --> 01:33:48,123
a vision of his mom came to me
and was like,

1605
01:33:48,206 --> 01:33:51,042
"Thank you for taking care of my son."

1606
01:33:52,043 --> 01:33:54,921
[♪ "To Build a Home"
by The Cinematic Orchestra playing]

1607
01:34:05,557 --> 01:34:08,393
We drove to the airport in the morning.

1608
01:34:10,353 --> 01:34:12,605
I remember him calling his dad.

1609
01:34:14,023 --> 01:34:18,528
♪ There is a house built out of stone... ♪

1610
01:34:18,611 --> 01:34:19,863
[Travis] Hey, Pal.

1611
01:34:19,946 --> 01:34:21,197
[Randy] [over phone] Yeah?

1612
01:34:21,823 --> 01:34:25,451
[Travis] I had all sorts of emotions
driving to the airport.

1613
01:34:27,036 --> 01:34:29,956
My kids were saying, "Don't do it, Dad.
Like, you don't have to do it."

1614
01:34:30,832 --> 01:34:35,545
♪ Tables and chairs
worn by all of the dust... ♪

1615
01:34:35,628 --> 01:34:38,298
My kids were carrying my trauma.

1616
01:34:49,851 --> 01:34:52,312
[Travis] I just knew, if I can do this,

1617
01:34:52,395 --> 01:34:55,690
I could not only do it for myself,
but also do it for my children,

1618
01:34:56,232 --> 01:34:58,568
and they could overcome it.

1619
01:34:58,651 --> 01:35:01,404
[engine rumbling]

1620
01:35:02,280 --> 01:35:05,283
♪♪

1621
01:35:11,414 --> 01:35:14,209
Love makes you do crazy things.

1622
01:35:14,667 --> 01:35:19,005
♪ And I built ♪

1623
01:35:20,924 --> 01:35:22,175
♪ A home... ♪

1624
01:35:22,258 --> 01:35:25,220
It puts you back in places
you swore you'd never go again.

1625
01:35:27,597 --> 01:35:29,766
♪ For me... ♪

1626
01:35:29,849 --> 01:35:33,895
It makes you risk your pride,
your comfort,

1627
01:35:34,729 --> 01:35:37,523
and the walls you spent years
building up around you.

1628
01:35:40,109 --> 01:35:41,945
♪ For me... ♪

1629
01:35:42,612 --> 01:35:45,949
Love is louder than fear.

1630
01:35:47,325 --> 01:35:51,621
♪ And now, it's time ♪

1631
01:35:53,373 --> 01:35:58,711
♪ To leave ♪

1632
01:35:58,795 --> 01:36:01,798
♪ And turn ♪

1633
01:36:03,299 --> 01:36:09,138
♪ To dust ♪

1634
01:36:12,517 --> 01:36:16,062
[♪ "Forever" by Travis Barker
ft. Run The Jewels playing]

1635
01:36:27,115 --> 01:36:29,659
♪ Good Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy ♪

1636
01:36:29,742 --> 01:36:32,370
♪ He a demon on tracks,
you hear them damn verses? ♪

1637
01:36:32,453 --> 01:36:35,039
♪ This motherfucker the Devil,
he screamin' and cursin' ♪

1638
01:36:35,123 --> 01:36:38,084
♪ I'm pullin' pistols in public,
puttin' them on every person ♪

1639
01:36:38,167 --> 01:36:42,755
♪ Rap's Rasputin, I'm pullin' pumps
on pompous ass preachers, and shootin' ♪

1640
01:36:42,839 --> 01:36:45,174
♪ I'm sittin' on the last pew-pew-pewin' ♪

1641
01:36:45,258 --> 01:36:47,302
♪ One day the poor will eat the affluent ♪

1642
01:36:47,385 --> 01:36:49,178
♪ Hope you atone for your past doings ♪

1643
01:36:49,262 --> 01:36:52,098
[♪ music continues faintly]

1644
01:36:57,854 --> 01:37:00,732
♪ If I ain't hungry, then your bread
could never tempt me, uh ♪

1645
01:37:00,815 --> 01:37:03,693
♪ So I suggest you help the less
and feed their tummy tall ♪

1646
01:37:03,776 --> 01:37:06,529
♪ Or one day pointed at your tummy
is a Tommy Gun ♪

1647
01:37:06,612 --> 01:37:09,324
♪ Or maybe that's my paranoia
that I'm walkin' with ♪

1648
01:37:09,407 --> 01:37:12,160
♪ As I burn this spliff
and try locate the mother ship ♪

1649
01:37:12,243 --> 01:37:14,954
♪ Ayy, this-this-this the jungle ♪

1650
01:37:15,038 --> 01:37:18,166
♪ Ayy, this-this-this the jungle forever ♪

1651
01:37:18,249 --> 01:37:20,626
♪ This-this-this
the jungle-ungle forever ♪

1652
01:37:20,710 --> 01:37:23,796
♪ Ayy, this-this-this-this-this-this
the jungle, jungle, jungle ♪

1653
01:37:23,880 --> 01:37:26,758
♪ Jungle, jungle, jungle, forever ever ♪

1654
01:37:26,841 --> 01:37:29,510
♪ Jungle, jungle, jungle, forever ever ♪

1655
01:37:29,594 --> 01:37:32,305
♪ Jungle, jungle, forever ever ♪

1656
01:37:32,388 --> 01:37:34,140
♪ Forever ever ♪

1657
01:37:34,849 --> 01:37:37,894
♪ Balderdash, you not gettin' it past
rap's Putin ♪

1658
01:37:37,977 --> 01:37:39,979
♪ Who ride a horse, bareback, shootin' ♪

1659
01:37:40,063 --> 01:37:42,148
♪ A champ in the land of the stupid ♪

1660
01:37:42,231 --> 01:37:44,233
♪ The kind that take the candy
out kids' hands ♪

1661
01:37:44,317 --> 01:37:45,568
♪ And laugh in amusement ♪

1662
01:37:45,651 --> 01:37:46,903
♪ The damned got a movement ♪

1663
01:37:46,986 --> 01:37:48,988
♪ They love to redefine what truth is ♪

1664
01:37:49,072 --> 01:37:51,157
♪ I find that little exercise useless ♪

1665
01:37:51,240 --> 01:37:54,035
♪ I'm losin', my last dose
of shrooms was a doozy ♪

1666
01:37:54,118 --> 01:37:56,829
♪ The loosely knit walls
of reality don't move me ♪

1667
01:37:56,913 --> 01:37:58,247
♪ Don't hail about a QP ♪

1668
01:37:58,331 --> 01:38:00,333
♪ Enough to make a cutter out the cookie ♪

1669
01:38:00,416 --> 01:38:02,418
♪ The brothers of the jewels spit rubies ♪

1670
01:38:02,502 --> 01:38:04,587
♪ These planetary gates murder truly ♪

1671
01:38:04,670 --> 01:38:08,549
♪ But baby, they all fools and they eat
from the hands of those rulin' ♪

1672
01:38:08,633 --> 01:38:11,386
♪ Ayy, this-this-this the jungle ♪

1673
01:38:11,469 --> 01:38:14,555
♪ Ayy, this-this-this the jungle forever ♪

1674
01:38:14,639 --> 01:38:17,016
♪ This-this-this
the jungle-ungle forever ♪

1675
01:38:17,100 --> 01:38:20,228
♪ Ayy, this-this-this-this-this-this
the jungle, jungle, jungle ♪

1676
01:38:20,311 --> 01:38:23,064
♪ Jungle, jungle, jungle, forever ever ♪

1677
01:38:23,147 --> 01:38:25,983
♪ Jungle, jungle, jungle, forever ever ♪

1678
01:38:26,067 --> 01:38:29,487
♪ Jungle, jungle,
forever ever, ever, ever ♪

1679
01:38:29,570 --> 01:38:32,990
♪ Ever, ever, forever ever... ♪

1680
01:38:46,337 --> 01:38:47,630
♪ Killer Mike and ♪

1681
01:38:47,713 --> 01:38:50,550
♪ Killer Mike and, Killer Mike and El-P ♪

1682
01:38:50,633 --> 01:38:53,261
♪ Forever, forever, forever,
forever ever, ever... ♪

1683
01:38:58,766 --> 01:39:00,768
[♪ song fades out]